� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
�
The Friday Five this week is about winning money. And what we'd do with it.
You have just won one million dollars:
1) Who do you call first?
Probably my Nana in Texas--after I'd been revived from fainting and calmed down enough to think relatively clearly and speak in coherent sentences. Then I'd be calling everybody important to me and spreading the news like wildfire.
2) What is the first thing you buy for yourself?
Whatever I wanted...a couple of collector's Barbie dolls from around the world or DVDs I wanted.
3) What is the first thing you buy for someone else?
Whatever they need the most at the time I'm able to buy it.
4) Do you give any away? If yes, to whom?
To friends and relatives... Maybe that would be their gift. I'd also give money to charities for animals and children who are terminally ill.
5) Do you invest any? If so, how?
I don't know if I would...I'm not too knowledgable or smart about these things and you can lose money if you don't watch the stock market carefully enough.
Love, at the time, was a new thing and I didn't know how to proceed. I'd been sheltered all my life and was very naive. I didn't know how to go about a relationship, but I wanted this to be it. I wanted to feel everything people said you feel when you're in love. I tried, but I failed in doing so to realize I was playing a game and playing with Stephen's feelings, even while trying to get him to realize there may be someone else for him.
I've grown since then and become wiser. Love is still a grand and magical thing--but with the right person. It still is wonderful, but it is not a game. And if you can find yourself out of love quickly with the person you thought you were madly in love with about a month ago, then it's not really love. At least, not the type you thought it was and the type many of us spend half or the majority of our adulthood searching for.
To me, love is a serious thing. It's a beautiful expression of how we feel for our mates. Yes, I want love in my life, the romantic kind, but I want it with the one I'll be with forever. I don't want another relationship like the one I had with Stephen or the almost one with Evan. I want the real thing with whomever is my soulmate. Thus, I'm content to wait. Even though it gets lonely. I've just realized from the above experiences and from watching Heather, Jon and Natalie (who've now broken up) that I don't wanna go through that pain again. I wanna wait for the one that is the real thang and that will last. I'm not consciously searching anymore. Heck, until Milo reappeared in my life I hadn't flirted with a guy since Evan; hadn't had the desire to. But with Milo...*shrugs* it comes naturally from me, whereas when I'd tried flirting with a guy Heather introduced me to, I felt awkward and stupid doing it. Plus the desire was nil.
Why am I talking on love--again? I've watched Heather hurt and I'm watching my brother hurt. He and his girlfriend broke up last Wednesday and last night she called saying she wanted a complete and clean break. My own heart breaks for him 'cause I know setting her free was the right thing to do, but she's hurting so badly, which hurts him to see. He really doesn't want to lose her friendship, but at the same time he doesn't want to deepen the relationship.
Love is for keeps in my book. Others can play and flirt all they want with it, but not me. I want forever. I want my kisses to be melting moments--no pun on the chocolate candies intended. I want the real thing.
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YOU must be the change you wish to see in the world.
~Ghandi~
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moon phase |
