� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
�
(Originally recorded on 12-02-04 at 4:40 p.m. ...I think.)
How to start this entry? I can't think very clearly right now with fatigue, hunger and a headache going on, but I will say one thing that, perhaps, will point me in the straightest direction to my topic. I am highly amused.
On Oct. 10th two years ago, I wrote an entry listing all the qualities--strike that--flaws people see in me. Apparently, as of last night--and today--I can add two more to an obviously growing list...obssessive-compulsiveness and tree-hugging hippie.
If you ask Kami about the obssessive-compulsiveness, it all started three years ago in August, when I first got Egypt--I can't believe he's three!--and I first worried about his welfare. I'll admit straight up right now, once again, that I am a worrywort. Especially about Egypt. I have a marshymellow soft spot when it comes to birds and most animals, therefore I'm a sucker for cute, furry critters and cute or majestic fowl. And well, if one happens to own my heart, like Egypt does, I worry about him when I haven't seen or heard him around all day. (Plus, our track record with pets in the past has not been the greatest.) So yeah, my fear and worry for him is a bit justifiable.
I drive my family nuts some nights asking if he's in for the night and if he has enough food and water--his living quarters is not easily accessible to me, thus I have to ask. Yes, I worry a lot, but all I'm trying to do is make sure he knows he's loved and is well cared for. His past shenanigans of going off on two or three day-long adventures--and coming back with a broken leg one time, with ensuing nightmares--plus climbing and conquering a telephone pole also have given me cause to wonder about my kitty.
So, while I do worry a lot (and I mean a lot) about Egee, I don't think it's to the point of obssessive-compulsiveness. If I were capable of caring for him on my own--and I wish I were--my worry wouldn't be as obvious. In fact, a portion of it wouldn't exist because I'd see to him myself.
As for last night's charge of being obssessive-compulsive, it stemmed from Egypt being collarless and i.d.less since Thanksgiving. He's outgrown the brown leather collar Heather gave me, and until today I couldn't afford to buy him a new one. Fearing the collar was too tight to continue wearing till a new one could be bought, Kami took his collar off. I, of course, didn't want it choking my baby, but the i.d. offers comfort to both Mom and me when Ege is gone away longer than usual. We have the assurance of the i.d. in case he gets lost or what not, that somebody will call us to say they found him. So yes, I worried more about my cat during the period he was without collar and i.d.
Kami said last night, within the space of an hour and a half I asked them, both her and Jon, if one of them would call for Egypt four or five times. I don't remember it that way, but *shrugs* one might say I had selective memory. I thought it was three times in the space of two hours or two and a half hours. But who knows? It was enough to get me labeled obssessive-compulsive.
As for the tree-hugging hippie? Kami was just giving me a bad time about wearing no bra today. Most of my bras are old and stretched out or have lost their underwire. (Yes, I need new bras. I've been hinting, quite broadly--no pun intended--that new ones would be welcome.) In fact, there are a lot of days anymore that I go without because I don't go anywhere other than therapy once a week and with Mom to her bowling league.
So, just add those on to my list of flaws: *dry smile*
This confirms to me and reassures me I'm no snob. I have similar assurances and knowledge regarding some of the other traits people say I have, therefore I can smile and quietly laugh because I know they are wrong. I know me. I know from past deeds and experiences and a degree of maturity what I am. Yes, I'm flawed and I have work to do, but I'm content for the most part with who I am. I am...a good person, with just as many good qualities as flaws...maybe more. And I'll continue working on the flaws.
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