� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
�
depressedFor the past few days I've been chatting on and off with a guy I call Polaris, on Yahoo! Messenger. I don't know his name; he doesn't know mine. I like it that way. That makes it easier to have no expectations or complications along the way. (It also makes it easier on me because I'm not obligated to tell him I'm in a wheelchair because of a disability.) We flirt a lil, but mostly talk. It's quite freeing, really. I am myself, I don't pretend otherwise to make me sound cool or to impress him. And he likes my responses, even if they disagree with his opinions. I'm honest, I'm keeping my standards, and I've steered away from darker, more intimate talk than I'm comfortable with. I've even told him I've never really been in love. I've wanted to be, and I came close, but always in the end, my heart has remained mine. Locked, with a key I'm beginning to realize I don't have--which would explain why I haven't been able to give it to the ones I thought at the time were ones I could see a glimpse of the future with. Someone unknown has the key. And when he comes...when he comes, my heart will know because it will be released from its confinement.
Polaris said I was safer this way. With my heart contained, I can't be hurt as badly if some guy comes tromping through my life and we enter a relationship that ends miserably. In ways he reminds me of Abe, my opposite. He's (Polaris) a lone wolf who's been burned badly too many times by women to really want a lasting relationship anymore. He maybe goes on dates two or three times a year. He's a confirmed bachelor who doesn't want a family of his own. Thinks the world is overpopulated as it is.
These two are pretty set in their ways, but Abe has surprised me on occasion, so maybe Polaris will too. Abe's most recent surprise was in sending me a list of guidelines he'd put together for a successful relationship--after he'd tried at another brief relationship. He has good advice...for everyone.
2) Accept us the way we are, and in turn, expect us to accept you the way you are. None of us are perfect.
3) In a relationship be willing to compromise, and in turn, expect us to compromise as well with you.
4) Treat us like a [gentle]man (or a [lady]) and respect us. If we say no, we mean no. Don't push us, and maybe we'll change our mind.
5) Don't lie or cheat. Always be honest.
6) Give us free space. When we're with you, we want to be with you, but when we're with the guys we want to be "one of the guys."
7) You don't want us to embarrass you; don't embarrass us.
8) Not all guys are the same. Some of us actually know how to treat a lady; let us treat you like one, and in return, give us the same respect.
9) Don't sleep with us on the first date (unless that's all you're looking for), because [if] you do we'll look at you [as] easy sex. Make us wait, and we'll learn to respect you.
10) What we drive or how we dress doesn't mean a [dang] thing. We may not have the material things...the rest of the world [has], but we're still good [people] and probably [are]...better hussbands/fathers/boyfrieds than that guy with the nice car and clothes.
11) Clubs and bars are the worst places to meet a guy [or woman].
12) Some of us or nice guys; don't take advantage of us or use us. You'll [tick] us off, and we'll not want to be with you.
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moon phase |
