� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
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*sigh* No ifs, ands or buts about it, I have the PMS blahs. I've had them for two days now, and it sucks. Little things are adding up and are just adding to the ever growing gray ball of....blah. Where to begin? The tight finances and Mom's irritating attitude about it? Or how I've heard from Paw Paw and Aunt Roseanne, but not Nan, and that Nan is depressed? Or that my idea for this critical paper received a less than enthusiastic response--course she was tired as it was late when she responded. Or how this windstorm is driving me nuts to hear it howl and blow outside? Or how I feel like a baby whale, and it isn't helped by my sudden craving for Reese's� Peanut Butter Bites? All in all, I'm just irritable.
I'm still smarting a bit from Mom's blow up that happened when she learned I was once again overdrawn. "Guess you didn't learn your lesson the last time, did you? You might open your *@#! mail once in awhile to find out what's going on!"
Um, first of all when I got the first notice I knew what it was, simply by the thinness of the envelope's contents. Secondly, there was only a week to five days before my SSI check arrived. I was only hoping I hadn't been overdrawn for more than that. (I wasn't.) Thirdly, I couldn't deposit any money that put would put me in the black--I only had $17 when I was -$54 and some odd cents. Fourthly, I had budgeted for everything I personally bought except for the gas Mom asked me to buy twice. The second and last time I bought gas was the moment I overdrew. *sigh*
And the last two months she's had me pay less in rent because, apparently, she owed me some money. But this month it was back to the stinking $500. Apparently my rent is $485 really, but Mom is required by this stupid residential care program I'm on to deduct $52 more from me to pay for the "privelege" of being on Medicaid. *lip curls* I ssssooo love the State and Medicaid. So Mom has me pay $500, which includes the rent plus (so she's told me) half of the $52. Now, she has informed me she wants $508 starting next month, because it is actually the rent plus the full half of the Medicaid copay. *sighs* Living at home is proving to be more expensive than places that are for the disabled. *shakes head*
Next is Nan. I've not heard from her in what seems like almost a month. That is not like her or the relationship we've had since my first year at ISU. I learned yesterday from Aunt Roseanne that she's depressed. The vivacity that usually Nan has is gone. She is subdued, doesn't want any phone calls, visitors or many people in zee house. I think it is partly because of zee soap opera involving Roseanne's brood, tight finances and feeling old--although despite what my young cousin Katie (who's three and a half) says, I don't consider her old. Older, yes, but not old. We're all really concerned because Nan has been the glue for the Texas bunch ever since my daddy was born. (He's their oldest.)
(later, 6:06 p.m.)
I've talked to Nan. Finally! I feel better, but I can tell she's still not up to par. I almost broke down at the sound of her voice. She's like, "Oct, don't you start that now. Just imagine a glass of whiskey in your hand."
That started me laughing as she pretended to be me being drunk and my parents coming in to find me in that state.
Parents: "Shiloh, what are you doing? Are you drinking?"
Me: "Nnnothhing. Jush wather. Ssccotch and wather." *hiccup*
I told Nan the truth, though. I have the PMS blahs. We had a nice, but short visit. I made sure she knew I loved her and had missed her in her absence.
Next is my latest paper. As I mentioned above my professor's response was...not what I was hoping for. Oh, it wasn't that she said I needed to be more specific about my claim or whatever. What had me rethinking the topic was her comment of how my two choices of literary pieces surprised her, as it never occurred to her to compare The Bacchae and the Ramayana to each other. Which tells me, with her being an English major as she so often reminds us, that my choices are highly unlikely companions in any paper. So I'm probably better off shifting the topic to a slightly different focus.
Which I did. Today while the Women's League bowled I reread every one of the five papers I've written for this class and have decided to focus on why the Greek scholars may have written the Odyssey and tragedies like The Bacchae. Today's scholars, yes, the very ones I find so intelligent they're stupid, say Homer wrote the Iliad and the Odyssey to offer an explanation of why great Hellene civilizations such as the Mycenaeans, fell. They also say playwrights such as Euripides, wrote plays dealing with issues central to their city-states. That is how Greek tragedy came about. Citizens of Athens became too prideful of their accomplishments in the intellectual world and arrogance, or hubris was considered a fatal flaw. And following that line of thinking, fatal flaws in heroes meant the potential downfall of those heroes or an entire city. And in applying those lessons today I'm gonna attempt to answer how modern audiences could get something out of these.
Anyways tha's the plan Sshtans. *hiccup* *raises glass of Irish whiskey* I would say "Shlantza" (Irish for 'cheers') if I knew how to spell it, but since I don't, I'll ssaayy, "Ch-cheerzzz."
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