I cannot stop yawning. Probably due to the fact our presentation was today. Nervousness robs me of sleep sometimes. I just could not fall asleep for a long while after being put to bed. Then I was easily awakened this morning by the sweet, chocolatey aroma of brownies wafting back to my room with Jon turning zee shower on just a room away. Usually, unless it’s a Friday, I’m dead to the world while the kids and Dad are up and about, getting ready for their day. Well, let me even amend that statement. I’m usually dead to zee world unless Aubree is making a racket. So yeah, it really was a testament to my nervousness that I lay awake long after being in bed and waking early this morning.

The presentation? Well, I’m ecstatic it’s over. No more worrying, no more meetings. And, happy happy for you, no more venting about the group. And no more nervous anticipation. It went ok for as much time and effort and brief practicing we did for it. One read through was enough for them it seemed. Personally, I would have liked to have practiced and run through it till we had a good idea of time and a good solid flow from one person to the next. But they just wanted to read through each others' notes, decide order and get out. *shrugs* Our grade Monday will reflect our "efforts." Though I must say Courtney put a good deal of thought in to her research; 'course Darci did too, but I still say we could have done better in the effort department. Because effort shows through in the end.

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Last night I prayed for an answer to my post graduation dilemma, as I have been for a short time now. But this time I asked if getting an apartment here in town and seeking a job here for the moment was a good idea. And you know what? I felt a bit of a calmness come to me that eluded me when asking about Utah or Boise. I actually smiled. I'll pray again tonight just to be sure and again until I'm positive, but I think I have me answer.

In my hurry to finish Monday's update before dinner I failed to mention something pertaining to it and that werewolf dream I had. Heather so far has been the only one to comment on it, and in light of this possible answer of mine she has come up with an uncanny interpretation. She believes the werewolf represents something I have a vague or distant interest in, but am ignoring or rejecting outright. She thinks this could be a guy--ha, fat chance as there is no guy around and the fact I haven't dated in five years--or it could be the place I'm meant to be in, and if I just give it attention I'll be blessed.

As there is no guy in my life (boo hoo) I'm leaning towards the place idea, that is, if we're both reading this interpretation thing correctly. As I've stated off and on throughout this journal I've wanted to start my next phase in Utah because I have no desire to stay here--whatsoever. But I now know that it is not meant to be, but Boise--where my mom wants me to go-go--may not be the answer either. This town, however, may be the place Heather says the werewolf represents. Heaven knows I've openly rejected it for months. But then, I've openly rejected Boise for months now too. So, perhaps the werewolf is Boise down the road aways. Who knows?
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What is life? A madness. What is life? An illusion, a shadow, a story. And the greatest good is little enough: for all life is a dream, and dreams themselves are only dreams.
~Pedro Caldéron de la Barca~

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