� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
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(In reference to a people from the Book of Mormon, the Anti-Nephi-Lehis--) In 1976, a sign on a temporary sheetrock wall during construction of a library addition at BYU read: "If the Dress Code is against cut-offs, does that make it anti-Nehi-Levi?"
*smiles* I thought it was funny. It's from an old book Mom's had for ages, called Especially for Mormons. She also got something else from it that is hilarious.
You know how Jessy may be expecting twins... Well, Mom found this thing on kids and discipline in this anthology. Though I don't have kids (and may never have them) I couldn't, once again, pass up on adding it here. The thing that makes it so funny is it's so true. Young parents think they're in control, that they will enforce and uphold any rules they make. But not so. *grins* As you will soon see in just a moment or find out for yourself when you have kids of your own, you aren't the one who makes the rules.
As this shows, life--and discipline--seldom go as expected, thanks to those lil darlins. They show you who's really zee boss.On Neatness 1) Children are to put away their own things.
2) Children must help Mother put away their things.
3) Well, after Mother has put away their things, they are not to complain that she messed everything up.On Eating Between Meals 1) Children are never to eat between meals.
2) Only fruit or milk between meals.
3) When they eat candy between meals, they must brush their teeth.On Mealtime 1) Children must clean their plates.
2) No dessert for those who don't.
3) Absolutely no SECOND dessert!On Bedtime 1) Eight o' clock sharp. (Ha! Mike and I had to go at seven, even if it was light out!)
2) Not one minute past 8:30 p.m. (Oh now, I've seen this rule in action. But with Aubree her bedtime was nine, now it's 9:30.)
3) Children who fall asleep while staying up late will not be carried to bed. (We know this rule never works.)
4) Unless they won't wake up. (See?)On Playing in the Living Room 1) Children must not play with glue or paint in the living room.
2) When playing with glue or paint in the living room, they must spread newspaper to catch spills.
3) Must say "I'm sorry" when they don't spread a paper and spill glue or paint on the living room rug.On Evening Guests 1) Children must not get out of bed when guests arrive.
2) May get up only to say "Hello."
3) Must say "Goodbye," nicely as guests leave.On Watching Tv 1) Children shall not watch scary tv programs.
2) After watching scary programs, they cannot come in to sleep with parents.
3) Children who must sleep with parents after a scary program cannot bring the dog to bed with them.
4) Oh well...That's our plan and it works. We're almost sure to be obeyed somewhere along the line. If you are worn down to a skeleton after trying this plan, don't blame us. Your children may be different!
Anyways, Mom wants to put this on cute paper and frame it as a gift for the expectant couple. Cute idea, huh? Whelp, I better see about homework. Ta! Or ciao!
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Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.
~Mark Twain~
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