� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
�
Please welcome and give a round of applause for SSShhiilloohhh!
(She walks on stage, smiling and waving to the audience, looking stunning in an amethyst evening gown that shimmers with sequins down to her ankles. A short elegant black jacket completes the ensemble and accents the sweetheart neck of the dress. She stops at the podium.)
HOSTESS: Thank you. Wow, there are quite a few readers today. Hope you're enjoying yourselves and will continue coming back and return to the Sunshine Awards next year.
Commercials. Those pesky things in between our shows on tv or songs on the radio. Many of us like to avoid them and flip, flip through the stations while waiting for our choice of entertainment to return. Myself, I don't mind them--unless they're stupid--and prefer to keep it on the same channel. That way I know I won't miss a minute. But I also like to see what advertising agencies are coming up with nowadays as compared to five years ago, say. But, without further ado, here are the categories and the nominees are:
Cola Commercials
-- Pepsi Twist, with the Osmonds and Osbournes
-- Sierra Mist, the dog and the AC on a hot day
-- Sierra Mist, with the monkeys
Insurance Commercials
-- Aflack(sp?), Vegas and the wedding
-- Aflack, the car garage and semi
-- Geico, the martial arts copy of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Fast Food Commercials
-- Arby's new oven mitt, he's stuck under a hot pan
-- Wendy's, Dublin, OH is divided by two chicken sandwiches
-- McDonald's, lady thinks she's the 1,000,000 customer
Funniest Commercials
-- Aflack(sp?), Vegas and the wedding
-- Visa check card, with Charlie and Martin Sheen
And finally the Worst Commercials According to Me
-- "Eye Allergy med," where the guy pops his eyes out to clean them
-- "Cellular phones," with Katherine Zeta-Jones
-- Geico, Gecko as employee of the month
-- "Cars," mom and dad making out in the back seat
(She's handed the envelopes.)
And the winner is...! *laughs* I've always wanted to say that. For the Cola Commercials it's: *drum roll sounds in the background* Pepsi Twist, with the Osmonds and Osbournes!
(The crowd applauds.)
For the Insurance Commercials it's Aflack(sp?), Vegas and the wedding!
(The crowd applauds and cheers.)
For the Fast Food Commercials it's Arby's new oven mitt, he's stuck under a hot pan!
(Laughter and cheers come again.)
For the Funniest Commercials it's Aflack, Vegas and the wedding, again!
(More laughter and cheering and even some whistling. She laughs and waits till it is quiet enough to continue.)
And last, but not least...for the Worst Commercials According to Me it's the "Eye Allergy med," where the guy pops his eyes out to clean them. This repulses me to no end. Eeww!
(Applause comes, but it is short.)
Thank you, everyone, for reading. Hope you found this somewhat amusing and will return for the next Sunshine Awards. Good evening and remember, without commercials there would be no potty breaks.
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Fortune can, for her pleasure, fools advance
And toss them on the wheels of Chance.
~Juvenal~
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