Writings and Layout
� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
times since Oct. 22, 2001
Formal Proposal Angst
02-11-2002 E 7:35 p.m.
I feel akin to Harry Potter in the Triwizard Tournament right now. Each time a task neared his stomach was filled with a lead weight and he dreaded the hours before the task. I'm dreading the formal proposal and conference with the professor. There's really no reason I should be. I've found some good research I think, and I found out--to my great relief--my printer does work...sorta. (It doesn't grab paper easily so you have to push the paper forward till it is grabbed.) I'm just afraid I guess, of sounding unprepared or disorganized in my presentation. Also, the thought of not having enough sources plays through my mind.

I know I'm getting stressed out about this because I can feel a seizure lurking at the edges of my control, waiting...waiting to swoop in for the overtaking. *sigh* I keep telling myself I'm ok, I've got most of my sources and my printer works--enough to keep it out of the shop until I can afford to take it in. Though I'm questioning if my ink will hold out. Please hold out.... *closes eyes and prays*

What is nerve jangling however--and I know a few other students feel the same way--is the lack of detailed specifics he (the professor) gives. Oh he'll tell you what the assignment is and give a loose format, but there are no real defined perameters--like how many sources we should have, and, of that many what number should be from books, periodicals or the internet. Right now I have six sources. I hope tomorrow I'll find at least two more sources. And there's something else he didn't clarify, and I was too stupid to ask about when I had the chance. The schedule.

In the example he handed out, the schedule gave the impression the student, whose real assignment it was, turned in the proposal in then started prep work for his paper and wrote a rough draft. But he (the professor hasn't said what number of assignment the paper is so I dunno when it's due, or if the schedule is to time the preparation for this paper or if it's for the proposal. You could say right now I'm disgruntled.

I'm just grateful I don't have to use Dad's computer for this assignment. *knock on wood* I get razzed about not using my own phone as it is. But that's a wwhhoole other vent I don't wanna get into.


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