� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
�
� S unshine warms her soul; aI'm in a poetic mood today so you're going to get a second poem. It's another one by the author of "Penny Candy."
� H eart of gold beats with-
� I n her chest.
� L ady in purple, she
� O ften tinkers on the Internet, saying
�"H owdy-do" to friends far and near.Shiloh, January 27, 2003
********
The Planets AlignThis poem gets mixed thoughts from me if I compare it to my friendship with Evan. I know, I know. You're probably tired of hearing about that failed friendship, but perhaps if I talk about the similarities and differences with this poem, I will be able to firmly close the door on him.
my best friend is
missing
have you seen this man?
sunbleached chestnut tufts of hair
eyes like glaciers
skin so fair
like porcelain,
his smooth, soft skin
arms, sinewy and lean
like the rest of his frame
i've lost him,
and my life hasn't been the same
all a blue of faces, no names
what a shame
what a damn shame
that everything had to change
that our lives were rearranged
that time is so cruel and deranged
and skewed everything wrong
a friendship so strong
a love that formed a timeless bond
but something went wrong
what the hell went wrong?
he knew my secrets
we didn't believe in lies
and i saw his soul
locked in his eyes
oh
those eyes
that had the power to hypnotize
before i could even begin to realize
i was under a spell
he knew me so well
too well
better than any other
he was father mother sister brother
best friend confidante and lover
he was my soul's family
and he loved me
yes, he really loved me
he meant the sun moon stars and planets to me
he was my solar system
my milky way galaxy
and yet i lost him
how can that be?
what is wrong with me?
i got too uptight
trying to set everything right
trying to shove it all into place
after a fight
some stupid fight
and my reason took flight
fleeing into a forest dark and deep
where it vowed to sleep
a deep sleep
but i realized that humans err
and gods forgive
and i had to be my own solar system
my own sun
my own family
to learn how to live
i found my reason among mighty trees
it promised not to flee
if i learned to believe in me
and every day i try
sometimes i break,
sometimes i cry
i struggle and stumble
but i try
and i stare at your picture
a stark colorless image
on the side of my skim milk carton
and i post these flyers
on tree stumps
my heart jumps
and thumps
with every hint and clue
that leads me back to you
friendships never really end
not one as strong as ours
it only needs some time to mend
before it blooms and flowers
in the meantime
the sun will shine
and nurture the soil
as my planets align.Turquoise Deniker
The guy in the poem is probably one she knows in person instead of online, like with Evan and me. So that's one difference. The main similarity I see to this poem, and as you may guess, is Evan leaving me for consecutively longer periods of time each time he left. I knew how she felt as she searched for her friend, and he was nowhere in sight. I felt her loss, her loneliness, her sadness. Heavens, a dark gray storm cloud would hover over my days whenever he pulled his Houdini trick.
The other similarity was the bond. He clicked with me like no other guy had before. It wasn't my imagination when I say there was a magic there in the beginning. Something was there; we told each other our dreams, our secrets. He even confessed to Heather he'd never felt the way he did about anyone the way he felt about me. I was special. Yeah, so special that he couldn't overcome his fear of the unknown--a person in a wheelchair.
That's where the similarities end. Turquoise, it sounds like, has faith her friend will come back. They just need some space while she discovers a bit more 'bout herself. I don't have that faith. I think he's (Evan) gone for good this time. I'm no longer on his MSN messenger. (There's a way to see who has you on their list or not. So I checked.) Yep, unlike Turquoise and her friend, Evan and I have chosen different forks in the same road and gone down different paths. Though our road was bumpy, filled with potholes, I came away a better person, I think.
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moon phase |
