� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
�
Their very first one, of course, was aptly titled Pieces Of You, for which P-O-Y stands for. Under this heading anyone who chose to submit an entry was encouraged to write anything it inspired them to write. So...
This journal is pieces of me. Each entry is an insight. Into my dreams, thoughts, feelings and fears. Every layout you may have seen reflects me in some way. Take this latest layout, for example. I'm into Anime, especially Ah, My Goddess! The goddess to your right is Urd, older sister to Beldandy, who worked on the Helping Goddess Hotline. She (Urd) looks like she could be in some type of feminine tux or classy outfit worn at the theater so hence the title, A Class Act and the theatrical theme.
"Pieces of me" also means or brings to mind the different facets I have... That we all have. It brings to mind different convos Heather and I have had recently. About our natures, what we hope for the future. How we see the world. She says I'm an example to her in spirituality, where she is weak at the moment. She says I am strong, and that for certain experiences we parallel each other. I would go through something like wanting to be done with or to quit school for good when in actuality I was quite close to being done. Heather experienced this frustration earlier this semester, though it's her first semester in grad school.
She's made me look at myself in a different light. While she's been changing and maturing this year, so have I to a different degree. I've realized I'm stronger inside than I thought. I'm not the desperate flirt I once was (at least online), for though I keep hoping the next guy might be mine, I no longer look. I quit expecting to run into him at any moment. In fact, and you should be familiar with this, I'm doubting if I'll run into him during this lifetime. 'Course, my family's right in that I'll never meet him if I don't get out out a bit more, but still... My point is, I'm no longer looking for love. I'm trying to be content with myself and the Lord.
Another facet that's changed about me is my temper. I'm still as emotional as ever, especially when provoked, touched or am in the middle of the Crimson Curse. But my temper is on a low boil or on simmer when Aubree drives me nuts. I usually can control it well enough nowadays, but there are times when I privately stew in my own juices before cooling off and letting it go. Or I put it in my "Pandora's Box" if it really irks me, adding it to things already stored in there. But for the most part, my temper is better controled than it was three years ago or even two.
Another facet is our friendship itself. In the past four to five years, friends were made and all but one or two friendships were broken or died. I've had friendships fade, that naturally happens when two people drift apart after grade school or graduation. But until four or five years ago I've never had a friendship broken off before without compunction. Yet within the space of several months, four friendships I thought were good were withdrawn or shattered. They were like slaps in the face and hurt. That experience taught me to choose my friends more wisely and to have fewer. Fewer, yet closer. A person can be just as happy or happier with three friends as they could be with ten.
Heather is a friend I want for the eternities. She makes me laugh, makes me ponder things, and we've got that parallel thing goin' on. She understands me--at least what I show to her. I want to be up in the Celestial Kingdom with our husbands and children, laughing and teasing and maybe having a real pillow fight, where our feathers have turned into downy white snow that blankets the worlds we've made...
These are pieces of me that I've realized in the past year.
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