Feeling-- eh
Reading-- The Bourne Identity by Robert Ludlum
Listening to-- Chicago's Greatest Hits, 1982-1989

I still so need to wake up. But I am doing better today, than yesterday. I've accomplished a thing or two, so I don't feel like a complete waste. Maybe if I eat I'll wake up--I am kinda hungry...

**********stifles the urge to yawn and fails...twice* Ok, The Alchera Project has two or three options that look good to me this month, and I'm gonna try to do at least two if not all three that spark my interest. This one is the Free-Write on "The perfect man/woman."

My first thought was: There is no perfect man/woman. No one's perfect at all.

My second thought was to link to an older entry I did a year and almost a month ago, for it gives the qualities I'd like in a man. It's still pretty much up-to-date, so you would be getting what I want in a mate, and we'd call it good. But...one of the rules of Alchera is, if I remember right, no recycled writing. Everything must be fresh. Perfectly understandable, and a reasonable rule. So, I will try and spin a new take on this or say what I've already said in a different way.

First, let me link to the list of qualities I'm looking for. It'll satisfy the part of me that likes giving the background or the whole enchilada to people. Reading it you'll note one line, I hope.

I want a man who is flawed yet striving to be better.

I realized when making this list I didn't, and still don't, want perfection in a man. Perfection...is too annoying. Perfection...is too boring, in my opinion. It's annoying because as a perfectionist, it can get down right aggravating to get something just right. I can spend hours working on a writing piece trying to find the right combination of words that strike home to me, that resonate within me. I can spend hours on an image, trying to get it the way I see it in my mind's eye. I don't want shoddy or mediocre work and I do try my best. But it gets annoying when it takes hours, or even days, to reach perfection...or as close to it as I can possibly get. That's my flaw--or imperfection, if you like to call it such--of impatience. Eh, a bit of irony there for ya. It's annoying because you do your best and still you make mistakes. Right now I'm making or sewing a Wizard cross-stitch, and, though I count and recount and count again to check and triple check my color and stitch placement, I've made countless stupid mistakes on it. I've put stitches in the wrong row, started a color in the wrong row, accidentally skipped and not finished some Xs--heck! it's been a real joy! Seriously though, it's disheartening. I discover my mistakes too late to fix some of them easily, so I have to adapt and change the pattern here and there. It makes it uniquely mine, yes, but the perfectionist in me knows it's not perfect.

And perfection is boring because...it lacks...spice! Excitement! The unknown. Sure, having everything perfect would make things very, very nice and wonderful, but, it would spoil us before too long. And sure, perfection is what we strive for, but, if we were perfect now, if things suddenly became perfect, how would we grow as human beings, how would we learn? Everything, I think, though perfect, would turn dull, very proper, automatic to the point of robotic, snobbish and stagnant. We aren't ready to be perfect. We need the experiences adversity brings us to naturally progress towards perfection.

Fire is the test of gold; adversity, of men.

I am far from perfect; I have much to learn still, so why would I want a perfect man, even if he did exist? Though I'm striving to be better myself, I backslide every now and then. Having a perfect man would only serve to make me feel inferior; it would be highly annoying, disheartening and he would be predictible. I'm a person who will not be made to feel inferior to others and who likes change and good surprises. I want a man who is flawed yet striving to be better, so we can help each other and work together in getting closer to perfection.

..:: Remembered�����E�����Occuring ::..

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