� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
�
"Is it so bad that I want to fall in love. I know that I am not a bad person. I am the type who would make a perfect girlfriend."
No, it's not wrong. I had to smile bittersweetly and shake my head at her words. My heart goes out to her as I know how she feels. It's always surprising, yet it shouldn't be, to discover that other people feel the same way. We always seem to think we're alone, but we're not. Even though we are separate entities, we're all the same on a basic level. Kirk, Nancy, Heather, me. There is that universal need and desire to be with that special someone we can love and who will love us back.
We're tired of being alone when it seems we're surrounded by couples. It's bittersweet to see them so loving and happy when we have no one. *pauses* But I'm re-realizing something once again. Kirk briefly made me forget, but now it's coming back. Even though I battle jealousy and bouts of loneliness I want my forever love, my soulmate. As I told Lynda today, one of my longest known online friends, I'd rather wait for and/or find him than mess with temps who never stay long anyway and who find some fault with me inevitably. Why mess or dilly dally with the ones you know, deep down in your soul, aren't right for you?
I have two answers to that. 1) You don't. You stick to your guns of self-worth and keep to your standards. Or 2) (and this is what I reminded Lynda about) you do because they teach you. You need the temps because they teach you about yourself, about what traits you want in your love. They make you appreciate your special someone all the more when you finally find him/her. Despite the pain they put you through, temps sometimes are necessary. Thinking back now, there is not one I regret knowing, though I do wish I could have changed a few things here and there.
But I am getting tired of temps. I just want my love.
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moon phase |
