� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
�
Yes, I went this past Wednesday to lunch with Shari as planned. But at last minute she invited three friends of hers from work "to meet" me. I'd been hoping for one-on-one, but she'd told me up front since our lunch date was during the time her care provider worked with her, the woman would have to come. Resigned, as I know very well the care provider needs to do her job, I agreed. That was before I learned her daughter had had a baby and she took off to be with her. So because she was gone Shari decided to invite the three.
Me, being unable to assert myself and act like anything but the marshmallow that I am, said it would be fine.
I really like Shari, I do, but that was not my idea of a nice break or social activity. Her friends were nice yes, but I don't know them, nor did they attempt to get to know me. I was the last one ta get there, and they had already ordered drinks and were ready to order. It was like walking in on Act 2. I was immediately handed a menu and barely a minute had passed before a waitress came to take our orders. I was asked if I was ready ta order. I felt like a deer caught in headlights.
I was tempted to say, "Are you nuts?" but what came out was, "Uh, not yet."
"Ok, then you can order last," the girl on my right said. I just nodded.
I knew what I wanted to drink though and she (the waitress) nearly walked off without paying attention. Knowing she would be back within a minute most likely wanting my order, I hurriedly scanned through zee three-four page menu for what I wanted. Adrenaline was pumping through my system as if I were in a marathon. I did not see what I wanted, Chicken Scampi. I scoured through the thing again. There was Shrimp Scampi, but no Chicken. When the waitress came, I felt like a heel for requesting the discontinued meal because...well, just because.
Then of course, I eat slow, so naturally they were waiting on me to have my fill. The entire thing felt like a flippin' race to that white line at the finish. The only good thang that probably came of it was Shari got away from work and family for a lil while. *sigh*
My social life sucks. Through no fault of her own, Heather and I will be lucky if we spend any time together before Thanksgiving. I know she's busy with bowling, school, work and her family, doubly so now in school because she's in her graduate program. But there are times when it feels like I have to wait for my turn for attention, and I have to remind myself that she is really busy and not just putting me off when I ask if we can get togerher. Heck, my own mother hasn't really done all that much with me this summer because she hasn't wanted to take the non-air conditioned van anywhere--not even around town.
I wanna break down and cry.
|
moon phase |
