� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
�
Ok, am purged now. *releases a cleansing breath* My next subject is not meant to be a rant, but if it sounds like it forgive me. I'm just once again stating my opinion.
First of all, let me start with what I'm grateful for today. I mentioned this yesterday to Heather when we were talking about a Gratitude Board she started at her workplace. Part of it is something I've just recently realized and after the anorexic entry of a couple days ago I'm doubly grateful. I'm grateful to the Lord and for a recovering self-esteem.
As you know I've done some stuff I'm not proud of and wish I could take it back. However, no matter how nice having the power of time travel would be to go back and undo them, I can't. Besides, that's not what zis life is about. All we can do is hopefully learn and not repeat them and move on. Well, I am moving on. I now have my head on straight I think, whether it's screwed on tight that way or not is yet to be determined.
I'm also, thankfully, coming to terms with my single status (a sign of a growing self-esteem). It's been no secret that I've wanted someone special in my life, that sometimes the loneliness gets to be overwhelming. Especially when my list of married friends grows longer while the list of unmarried friends grows shorter. Even though I would love a relationship, I know I'm not ready yet for a serious commitment. I am finally ok with it just being me and the Lord. Though I still have a ways to go.
Geez this is a long-winded route to get to my opinion. I'm sorry. When I started the grateful thing I intended to get right to it. Didn't happen, did it? Ok, here goes...
On Sunday in Young Women's Aubree had a lesson on dating and marriage. As an activity the teacher had the girls make a list of what they want in a guy. It then occurred to me that this is the age when the church begins to hit home the importance of a temple marriage and its not-so-subtle push of its young people to get married asap. The thought, No wonder we panic a bit if we're not married by a certain time; the church hits us hard with the idea, and if we're not married [or at least the men aren't] by 30 at least, we aren't fulfilling the commandment of starting a family, ran through my mind. I mentally continued with If they would lay off a bit, there wouldn't be such a desperation to get married.
Now, before any LDS readers contest with "we need to get married, the family is the most importang thing" let me finish with my opinion. I agree we need to get married. It's necessary for our exaltation. It's just from my experience and from watching--and suffering the constant complaints about how she couldn't find a guy from--a friend down at ISU, I can't agree with the hard push the church makes when it comes to marriage. I can understand the reasoning behind it--if there is no pushing, the youth may put marriage on hold in favor of other worldly pursuits. I can see that fear and empathize with it, but I believe that all this drilling of marriage into our brains has generated for some a panic or desperation to achieve that status. Some even just settle for the first person who comes along because they want marriage so badly. I almost settled because I was so marriage hungry once. Because I was so lonely and wanted to be loved by someone outside my family. Thankfully, I couldn't go through with it; I wanted--want--what many of my friends have, what my grandparents and Mom and Dad have. Why settle when you have a possible chance for a lasting thing?
I just think the church needs to back off a bit, that way if the opportunity doesn't present itself early, people aren't panicking when they pass the usual age. And maybe if they aren't pushed and panicking they'll wait until the real thing, and perhaps this will lower the rising divorce rate among members of the church. I'm not saying this is the right solution or that indeed it will help decrease the divorce rate, only that this is my opinion.
Over the past couple days I've thought of redoing my list of what I want in a guy, but then I remembered I already had such an entry in Thoughts of a Writer. I reread the entry and thought it couldn't be perfected any more than it already is. Nothing more needs to be said on the type of man I want. And now that my self-esteem is returning I know I need time to be the type of person he'll want. And when our time comes, my time as a single person will have been worth the wait.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One more river,
And that's the river of Jordan,
One more river,
There's one more river to cross.
~One More River, a spiritual~
|
moon phase |
