� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
�
I tried studying again today. I really need to learn to shut noise out and just go into an inner world where it's just me, the book and a high lighter. I know this sounds weird coming from a college senior who should have by now learned the sophisticated art of studying. I guess I'm still used to the relative quiet of the apartment I had on campus until a year and a half ago. But it also doesn't help if your mom acts like a butterfly when cleaning. First she'll start in one room then she remembers something else needing done in another room. She'll stop what she's doing and head to take care of whatever she remembered. And on and on. In the meantime she's callin to Dad about something else she remembered. It drives both Dad and me bananas. Dad likes order. He likes to put one room in order at a time. And, technically not to mention logically that's the easiest way to do it.
Eventually I retreated to my room, hoping if I isolated myself I'd be able to save my flagging willpower to reach my goal of getting to a certain page. I went a few more pages then was called for lunch. After that I never got back into the groove. *sigh* So that means more studying tomorrow.
Loneliness is catching up to me again. The past few days I have been thinking I really need to meet a guy. I mean I have Heather and Kjerstie and a few others. But I also want male companionship. For once I want to be the girl whom the hero gets in the end. I want (as Darren wrote in an email) to sit on the couch with [my guy] sipping hot cocoa and quietly talk, discovering ways to please the other and just plain enjoying the company. To know you're not alone, that you're wanted. 
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moon phase |
