� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
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As you can guess from my lead-in P-O-Y's topic is about you (or the individual {me}) being a secret admirer. Have you ever liked someone so much, but because of circumstances could never let them know? Maybe you were too shy. Maybe, it seemed, the two of you were from different worlds and the idea of being together seemed irrational. Or maybe it was peer pressure or social expectations that kept you from what might have been true love.
If you had the chance to write this person a love letter, what would you say?
Ok, wait a minute. Hold the phone. Didn't you just say you never did anything like this or that it never occurred to you to write such a letter?
Um, yes I did say that and at the time it never did occur to me, plus as I mentioned yesterday I was a very shy individual as a kid and I guess I was unconsciously saving myself from potential let-down.
So, why did you decide to do this P-O-Y?
Because I did eventually send a card to my First Love and have written a number of letters to whomever ends up being my "One."
Say wha--?
*smiles* I would hazzard a guess and say almost every girl or boy has a First Love in their life, whether it be in first grade or a lil later on in junior high. My First Love came into my life around the time I was 12 or 13. Funny how he was my First Love, yet I don't remember how we met. His family moved in next door, and for the next several years through junior high and high school--he's a couple years older than me--I had the most severest crush on him. He knew it, and sweetie that he was, he put up with it. But then he graduated and his family moved and he went on his mission. I finally thought as time went by I was over him, as I had developed another crush on a sweet guy in my ward. But then my First Love and I met up again at Ricks. Old feelings stirred up within me again and I was chagrined. I really thought I'd gone beyond him. I talked to my friend Andrea, who dispelled my notion it was infatuation. No, instead she replaced that idear with a more disquieting and thrilling one.
"Infatuation doesn't last seven years, Shiloh. It could be love."
Love? Oh boooyyy, I thought, squirming. Could I really be in love? With that scary possibility in mind I sent him a card, thanking him for his friendship and I expressed my feelings in such a way that they could be taken either way: 1) As in "I really like you, I hope we can go out." 2) Or as in "Your friendship means a lot to me, I hope we can stay in touch." That way if he didn't want to date, neither one of us would feel odd or awkward. And as I'm still single, you know it wasn't meant to be. (I later found out he was engaged and met his fianc�e.)
And yes, you read me right. I have written a number of and will write more letters to whomever is my soulmate. In Mutual (a youth program my church has as an activity night once a week for the youth of the different wards) one night when I was still a teenager, the leaders had invited a newlywed couple to come talk about setting high standards in dating and in marriage. The wife talked about how one night, in her own ward when she was in mutual still, her leaders had made a suggestion to the girls that they write letters to their future husbands. They didn't need to know their mates' names, the girls should just write about how they felt and/or what was going on in their lives till they felt or knew they'd met their future companion.
And so that's what I've done. I used to keep them on the computer, decorating them with "homemade" stationery I'd design with Printmaster Gold. But some letters were lost when my comp crashed and so was my printer's software. (The printer's disk is packed away somewhere, so for the time being I have no printer.) Now, I keep them in a blank book so that they're together and will be easier to keep track of (my first letters that were printed off are in a folder packed away too).
I tell him, whomever he may be, about my hopes and dreams for us. I tell him what is going on, what I'm thinking. I know it may sound silly and foolish, but it gives some comfort when I'm feeling lonely or having a hard time seeing or hearing about other couples.
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Never start frowning because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
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moon phase |
