� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
�
I wasn't trying to be mean. I wasn't out for delayed revenge. But since you didn't try to get me to see your side, all I could do was go with what I saw and knew of you. You're a nice guy with a big heart, but when it comes to women you have a few screwy ideas and you need to mature in a few areas.
There was no doubt that I cared about you. But even though I expressed it on the chance you were really working towards what you said you wanted, I knew in the back of my mind that you were going for Stephanie. So I tried to get you to realize what I was seeing. I don't think you realize what you were doing. You certainly didn't want to hurt me, no, but you weren't being totally fair to me. And I know you think I'm off the mark, but think about it, Stephen. Think about if I did the same to you. What if I had expressed an interest in you and then met someone I immediately liked? And with each date with this guy, you could sense a growing disinterest in you; yet I maintain my feelings for you are there still. But you can read something between the lines that I'm not saying. Something I may not realize I'm broadcasting. And you try to get me to see it so I understand what I'm doing; how it's making you feel. But I'm just happy in the fact that I'm dating someone where there are sparks and I don't see what I'm doing. Then I try to "tease" you into lightening up yet keep you on, liking the fact two people may want me. Then you tell me you have a girl who probably likes you romantically. I then come back the response: "Is she actively interested in you? If it's not an everyday thing then she's not a threat. Why should I fight for you when there's really no one? But if you want my love, then you have to fight for me."
How fair is that? How would you feel? Wouldn't you feel used? And disgruntled? Or possibly unwanted because I implied you're not worth the effort? Whether you realize it or not this is what you did. I'm not saying you are going to believe it or agree with it. But I'm not blind. I've observed many relationships. I know the basic ingredients for a successful one. I'm still learning with each new experience about what works and doesn't work.
But I do know what you did wasn't fair to me. And I'm sorry you think I'm lying. What you should have done was be honest with yourself and admit that it was Stephanie you wanted. And told me. Maybe then a friendship between us would have lasted.
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moon phase |
