� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
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We are finally moving Grandma to the care facility next week. Mom's grateful yet having a hard time with the realization she's putting her mother in a home. It isn't easy for her after watching out for Grandma for 19 years, but it's time. Mom just can't take much more, and Grandma's gotten to the point where she needs more care than we (combined with Mike and Jen) can give her.
I agree with Mike and Jen and Dad it (the move) should've been made a long time ago, probably last year in May. But out of respect for Mom's feelings Dad went along with her wishes.
While being a member of this family, I feel like a third party to this. Why? Because I overhear--hey, I'm in the same room--what Mom and Dad say--how they feel and think about the whole situation. Then Mike and Jen give glimpses of how they feel and what they put up with. So I get both sides of the picture. But I think I'm the only one that does or is trying to accept both sides. I comiserate with both, but I think Jen and Mike's thoughts of Mom in this one thang are too harsh. They believe the only reason Mom has prolonged this is to comfort herself. In their minds she is holding on because in comforting herself, she's telling herself she is a good daughter, that she's taking care of her mother. If Mom really had been thinking of her mother, Grandma would be in our home now or already in Bel Aire.
What they keep forgetting and what I tried to impress upon them the other day at Millhollow over frozen yogurt, is that Mom still has four kids at home, although two of us will be leaving in the near future, with two who are not yet fully grown. She can't devote her time solely to Grandma's care, making sure her house is spotless every week. Mom is busy with her own family and though she tries to stretch herself both ways, she has fast approached her limits yesterday.
And what Mom and Dad, although they know it's hard on Mike and Jen being newlyweds and all, fail to see is they (Mike and Jen) do try once in awhile to clean up the house. That they try and make sure Grandma isn't left alone for long periods of time.
The problem as I see it, is lack of communication. Jen is also right in that there should have been a family meeting, discussing how to work out Grandma's care. Instead of taking it day by day only. True, sometimes that's all anyone can do. But the meeting should've taken place just to set up an understanding of sorts. Both sides have points and faults. The one axe I have to grind is Mike and Jen taking off without telling anyone goodbye after dropping Grandma off today. I was alone and after a certain incident months ago, I'm not to be left alone with her cause I can't take care of her or stop her from taking off in case she gets it into her head she wants to go to the grocery store. I hate saying they need to tell us where they are going all the time, but because of Grandma, times and plans need to be coordinated. Thus, a need for the meeting.
But as of today, I may have more time than I anticipated. I may have missed the grade deadline when professors have to turn in grades. Today I received a letter from ISU saying I'm dismissed from school because of continued academic probation. I can go during the summer term, but come fall I have to sit out two semesters before I can register for classes again. What a crock.
My G.P.A. as I keep stating is a 2.59 over all. I haven't checked my grades yet, because of course it isn't 5 o' clock, the time by which I believed the teachers had to have grades in. I was told they were due today. Hence why I mailed my papers in this last Tuesday! So I just may have screwed myself royally out of a degree in the fall. But you know what? I don't care anymore. I tried calling Susan, my advisor, but she's out of town till Tuesday. So I left a message explaining the deal and leaving my number. I will pow wow with her about what my options are, but if there's nothing...I'm done with school. I'm not going to put my life on hold for a whole year and retry for my degree. I'll just get on with plans I have been making for my life after graduation. And like Nan said, since I'm so close in getting my degree I may want to finish at another school or over the Internet. She is right. But I'm so sick of ISU.
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"The family is your greatest happiness and sorrow."
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