� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
�
*1/2 tempted to continue rants or vents from last night*
But the only one that really stands out right now is Abe's behavior. I'm sure it's merely coincidence or something I've possibly done to irritate him, or it could just be his present mood, but it seems--and this is the key word here, seems--that ever since Heather's visit Tuesday Abe would rather have me leave him be. When he first got his computer he sounded happy to see and talk to me online. He even admitted to liking me. Things were fun those few days he seemed to want me around.
Now...now he's like Shrek in the beginning of that movie. He likes his peace and his own company. His responses are short and slow in coming. In fact, you could wait a whole hour for just a "yes," "no," "I dunno" or a "n/m."
I feel bad that I might have alienated him somehow, but then again it might just be his mood in reaction to whatever's going on in his life. I just feel bad at the change. I guess I can reassure him his "meanness" is back and still intact. *sighs*
May today there be peace within.This was like an Irish blessing or prayer chain. The idea of making a wish was that if you passed this on to seven people in the next five minutes your wish would come true. Normally, I hate getting and disregard most forwards sent me, but I liked this one. It hit home with me because of what's been going on in my life the past year.
May you trust your highest power that you are exactly where you are meant to be...
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you...
May you be content knowing you are a child of God...
Let this presence settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of you.
May today there be peace within. I need peace. I need comfort. I need solace. Today has been one when having C.P. is hard. At least, in my situation where I'm dependent on helpers.
My cousin's baby boy has been diagnosed with C.P. and already they started physical therapy with him. Mom wishes she'd had and sort of envies the support my aunt gives my cousin. If I'd had the kind of therapy and handling back when I was young that is now available for my young cousin, Mom said I could be walking with crutches possibly today. *sighs* I'm happy he has the therapy and technology today that's available to help him reach his fullest capabilities, and I certainly don't begrudge him the new advantages. It's hard, sometimes, dealing with my lot. And I feel guilty when a Why me? comes unbidden to my thoughts. There are hundreds of others worse off than myself, yet they don't bemoan their lot. I feel small and petty.
May you trust your highest power that you are exactly where you are meant to be... I've talked of this before so I'll be brief. A year or so ago I wanted nothing more than to move to Utah and begin anew. A new phase in life (post-graduation), new scenery and a clean slate. I wanted this all so bad I almost hungered for it. But my parents were set against it; Mom thought Boise might be the place for me. So I prayed and received a "no" answer in regards to Utah. Boise was a maybe. But I felt for the time being I needed to remain here in {insert hometown here}. I didn't know why, but events down the road led me to believe it might be because Heather needed me.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. Once again I go back to Abe and also to a friend who is struggling with faith. A long time ago Abe was hurt deeply and betrayed. He lost faith in our church and continues to be angry with God (though for a different reason). He has given up our faith and has chosen to be a druid. I'm relieved he's not become an athiest, yet it pains me that he no longer wants to be a Christian.
I have no grudge or anything against pagans. Some of the people I used to chat with online have been pagan. And they're (the old Celtic beliefs) are quite peaceful; they recognize the power and beauty of nature and the elements. In fact, I'm into them to a degree with my fascination over my Celtic heritage. But I cannot forget all that God has done and given us in faith.
Then there is my other friend. She's struggling with faith right now too. She doesn't what to believe in anymore. And she doesn't trust blind faith. But sometimes that's the only way faith and testimony will grow.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God. I face the possibility of knowing that I may never meet my soulmate in this life, that I might remain a spinster. While this isn't exactly an appealing idea, I realize there are worse fates. Marriage and relationships aren't always bliss. And there is a poem called, I think, God's Plan For Me. The writer takes on the Lord's persona, telling us, His children, to not fret, to trust Him. All we need to do is be happy and content with Him and ourselves. After this all things will fall into place. I pray each night for this, that I can be content and happy with Him and myself. I pray that this will be enough.
It's amazing to me that I received something like this from Milo. I guess because we've never talked about anything religious. It's kinda neat. I miss him.
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moon phase |
