Dune

Sometime ago I bought the two-CD compilation, The Celtic Circle. It's a wonderful collection of songs that reflect the Celtic peoples and their culture. Who Wants To Live Forever is a song on the second CD. Yesterday I put it in on a whim, not having heard it as much as the first. This song caught my attention with the soprano's voice and the key words Who wants to live forever.

At first it, and it still kind of does, reminded me of Abe. (*hears the sighs and squelched moans* Yes, yes another entry on Abe. And yes, I'm obsessed. Unfortunately.) He's into his Celtic heritage as I am. However, as he has separated himself from our church and no longer thinks of himself as a Christian, he has turned to the old Celtic beliefs. I believe I mentioned he is a druid. In that respect the song reminds me of Abe and the common link of our heritage.

In another, it's these two lines: Who wants to live forever and Who waits forever anyway... that remind me of him. As I've explained, I believe, he's been deeply hurt and his emotions run deep. Therefore, he's erected very tough, very strong and very high walls around himself to keep others at bay and he's perfected the lone wolf persona. Abe, I think, is one who lives very much in today. I don't think he worries about forever or the eternities. If he did, he still would consider himself a Christian. *thinks* On second thought, the ancient Celts believed that when the soul leaves the body upon death it finds another. The soul is eternal and never really dies, because it continually finds a body and goes from life to life. So, maybe he figures...he's covered in the eternities? I just see him living by or agreeing with the words, who waits forever anyway...

Abe and I are far from lovers and will never be. Yet the rest of the lyrics echo faintly daydreams I conjure of him and myself as friends. I guess they're a defense mechanism that helps get me past the rocky patches in the odd online relationship we have. He will never touch my tears with his lips or touch my world with his fingertips, but the dream-like quality of the song is something one cannot resist. It's so beautiful, so haunting, and yet so sad.

Who wants to live forever?/There's no chance for us./This world has only one sweet memory set aside for us./Who waits forever anyway... When applied to the daydreams I have of us these words just seem to point out what may never be between Abe and I. The kind of close and lasting friendship I revel in and that means so much and is so precious once you have it. Right away I sensed Abe's kindness and capacity to love--if he would but allow himself. He was kind to me and has kept in touch all these years, and I've tried hard to be patient and to show him I'm worthy of being a good friend, but in the interim things happened and he's redoubled his defenses. Many times it seems a futile attempt and I start despairing of getting past them to his heart. I think, Maybe it's not meant to be. Maybe I'm not the one who will find the chink in his wall. Maybe I should just give up.

But the stubborn lass in me refuses to quit and rallies with: No, I'll give him a few days... He's just being Abe. Just keep trying, keep praying. *1/2 smile at a sudden thought* Who waits forever anyway? I will, if I have to. Until the Lord says, "Cease."

moon phase