Good evening. I just spent the entire afternoon and most of tonight updating my
design site, adding a new layout to it, plus a
Templates In Progress page and choosing the new Design of the Month. So...I accomplished a bit, but yet somehow I feel not so productive. =os
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In other news (not surprisingly, however, being on my obsession) I have calmed myself and stepped back from the fervor of my obsession with Abe. I am regrouping and allowing him some space because he admitted he does get tired of my "chatter and antics" occasionally. So I'll either IM him and exhange niceties and perhaps brief news updates, or I'll let him come to me in time.
Heather made a good point in one of our convos today, which echos a recent thing she went through while dating Sir Nobody. At the risk of revealing too much for the sake of explanation, I'll keep it as short as I can. She was in love with the boy and was pushing for a promise/engagement ring by Christmas.
I tried warning her she was pushing too hard too fast, and that it'd push him away. At the time she couldn't see it, or refused to see it. Now, today she gave me similiar advice and we joked about how familiar it all sounded. *smiles* She warned me that if I kept up with the antics and tried breaking down his walls myself it'd only push them higher and make them all the more stronger. Rather, I should allow him to come to me and let him be the one to break or lower the walls. It made sense. And she's right. I need to wait for him to come and lower the walls on his own. Thing is, I'm scared that day will never come, and if it doesn't can I accept that? He's gotten tougher and harder since I first knew him. What if he continues and goes beyond my reach?
Why do I care so much? Why do I want his friendship so much? Is it just the challenge of overcoming his defenses that makes me refuse to quit? I know he is a good person; I know he is capable of loving deeply. And I know he is special. What is it about him that makes me want to insinuate myself in to his life?
On that note and the sinking feeling that I've gone off on this too long, I'll say goodnight.
..:: Remembered�����E�����Occuring ::..
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