� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
�
The first half of today was filled with dubious adventures, ones that could have ultimately gotten me into trouble and rewarded me with a lecture or two, had I not been alone. But really, this applies only to the last two. The first really started last evening, so let's backtrack to then.
Aubree was going to stay with Kailee overnight and had gone in to the bathroom to fix her hair. Mom and I were watching Die Another Day. Not more than 20 seconds had passed from the time Aubree entered the bathroom before we heard her squealing in fear. She came rushing out, blathering something about bees in the window. Dad, sure she was over exaggerating and dramatizing a lil thing greatly got after her and told her to calm down. He walked in with her and investigated.
He walked out, a shocked look on his face. "She wasn't kidding," he said. Rounding up his arsenal of weapons, a fly swatter and a hefty can of insecticide for bees, wasps and hornets he went back in. Aubree shut the door on him at Mom's request, to prevent any bees from escaping Dad's wrath.
Only they weren't bees. They're hornets. Dad killed about 20 in the window alone. They were between the glass and shutters. He killed several more in the cupboard above the toilet. The total number of hornets killed last night? Over 30. Mom killed 13 more this morning, and Dad killed even more when he came home from work.
Investigating further, he found an outside nest by the bathroom window and he figures there's another in the hollow space between the new outside siding and the false wall the bathroom cupboards are mounted on. He heavily sprayed the outside nest, and upon further investigation he found the hole these critters are coming through that he missed last night when he caulked every crevice he could see.
In the interim, we've kept everything closed, and any time there was no avoiding Mother Nature, the hapless person would unwillingly and cautiously enter, ever vigilant and attuned to any tell-tale buzzing. It was even more nerve-wracking to hear them buzzing just inches behind your head inside that cupboard door. Tonight Dad's gonna caulk that hole...I hope.
Then there was my phone adventure when Mom and Dad went out to lunch. They usually keep the phone on their computer desk, but this time Mom had had it by the sofa as she crocheted the baby blanket she's making. Anyways, so the phone rang...and rang...and rang. Because the caller let it ring continuously, I knew it was someone in the family. They let it ring awhile so I have time to answer it.
I squeezed in to the space by the sofa cluster and reached for the phone. It toppled to the floor. Whovever it was--I later found out it was Aubree--was jabbering away.
"I dropped the phone!" I called to the person. I stared at the tangled cords and phone in dismay. Mentally I was going, Great, now what? If Mom and Dad see this, I'm gonna get a lecture. Now, if Heather or Jon or Aubree were here...they'd pick it up.
In the end I borrowed Mom's spaghetti tongs and leaned over the arm of my chair as far as I could to snag the cord. Happily, I got the phone to the desk, but both the cords were a tangled mass. I swear the phone delighted in making it a puzzle to untangle, and my heart was beating fast as I was working against the clock before they came home. I finally untangled them, but it was when they both left again.
My last dubious adventure included Egypt, Super Kitty. About an hour after my previous adventure I let him out. He came to the back door some minutes later and, thinking he'd want to get on my lap and I'd be able to go out and to the other door to put him in where his food and stuff are, I opened it. He just sauntered on in, not even looking at moi and headed on upstairs. *sniff* He's not allowed to do that. =os
Once again I thought, Great, now what? Leaving the door wide open, knowing that any and every bug could come in uninvited and yet not wanting to manuvuer it in reopening it once I had Egypt right where I wanted him, I headed for the stairs and called up. No pitter-patter of lil white paws could be heard.
"Shoot."
Time for Plans B and C. I prayed Mom and Aubree would not come home from shopping while I had the door wide open and a prodigal feline upstairs and headed for the kitchen. When all else fails with this cat, try bribing him with a piece of meat. Ege will follow you anywhere. And that's what I counted on. Once he saw zee meat in my hand he hopped eagerly onto my lap and rode with me to the back door, meowing plaintively wanting his treat. At the door he jumped down and I followed him out and gave him his bribe. While he ate I closed the door then let him back in with his stuff. I was safe. Mom never need know.
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Growing up is optional, growing older is mandatory.
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