� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
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Once again I'm taking a break from, yes homework, as usual. I have been reading an excerpt from Don Quixote since 1:30 this afternoon and it has been slow going, not to mention successful at giving me a headache. So I've put it aside long enough to do this. Though I must say, my heart goes out to this mad old man, who dubbed himself "Don Quixote." He was a dreamer who let himself become obsessively enamored with a bygone age, so much so that his Medieval Romances became his world, his reality. And what's sad in my opinion is when others laughed at him while playing into his fantasy. I also can see bits of myself in him. As this whole journal is testament to, I am a dreamer. I like to retreat into worlds of my own making sometimes. The difference between myself and this fictional knight-errant, however, is that I return to what the majority terms as "reality." I saw the play either at Ricks or at ISU and that pulled at my heartstrings just as much as this is...
I have been meaning to share this since this past Tuesday, but each entry thus far never made room for me to mention it. As a kid I used to experience déjà vu quite a lot. I dunno why, but someone--I forget who--once told me that déjà vu could just mean you're on the right path...wait. It was Andrea, I believe, who shared this opinion with me.
She too, if I remember rightly, experienced déjà vu now and then as a child, and especially when she took her endowments out in the temple. For much of the time she was at the temple that day, she said she felt like she'd done the endowment session before, though this was her first time.
I tend to agree with her that déjà vu could be a sense or feeling that reaffirms you're on the right path. It goes back to my personal belief about déjà vu--I've said this word a lot today, haven't I? LOL--which is colored by my religious background. Don't worry, this is not going to be a preachy lesson...just a statement of opinion. We LDS believe we were with Heavenly Father as spirits in what we call the Pre-existence before we were born. This Pre-existence is better known to most Christians as Heaven. Anyways, in the Pre-existence I think we got to choose, if we weren't preordained to any specific work what path, out of several, we would live out here on Earth. And that in order to help us choose we were shown, like a movie, what those paths would be like should any of them be the one we chose. Déjà vu then, is the latent memory (in my opinion) of having "done this before" when clearly, we have not.
And this is what happened to me this past Tuesday just after I posted. That was the day I made my second stamp. I brought up my site so I could look at the stamp beside the older one I'd made and to check for any errors in the entry, when all of a sudden the sense of déjà vu descended upon me. I felt like I was seeing that stamp in that setting again, though it was my first time viewing the page. And while I was designing it I felt like I was copying it in part from somewhere else on Diaryland's Stamps page, but I wasn't. When I went back and looked I couldn't find a similar stamp to mine. It was a weird experience, let me tell ya.
But how does this equate with feeling or thinking I'm on the right path? I dunno. Perhaps we retained "memories" of our life as it ultimately should be, and, because we have free agency and therefore sometimes stray from the straight and narrow, we experience déjà vu only when we are back on the "right path?" Like I said, it's just my opinion, and I found it interesting that after a lloonng while I had such an experience when as a kid it was commonplace to me. Perhaps, though I realize this is a farfetched idea, it was telling me I'm back on track, that I need to be here in {insert hometown here} at this time. Perhaps it was the Lord allaying my doubts about my decision to move back three years ago from Poky. And perhaps I’m reading too much into it... *sheepish smile*
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First keep the peace within yourself, then you can also bring peace to others.
~Thomas à Kempis~
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