� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
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"When people move or are in the process, there are a few bumps in the road. You're expecting things to run smoothly and you're bummed because they haven't." she continued.
Um, how do you tell your lecturer that it's her attitude, among other people's, that's the "bump" in the road? Yes, she's a parent and has license to worry no end, but how about a little encouragement? *sigh* No matter how I try to convey to my parents that I am trying to--or am--thinking this through, trying to think of all the things that need addressed, they still show a pessimistic attitude or bring up something else I may not have completely thought through. And they don't understand the dynamics of my bond with Heather. I've tried explaining it to Jen, who's more open-minded than most, but I still floundered. How do you explain a twin soulship to those who would roll their eyes?
Truthfully, I expected excitement and anticipation to be a part of this move, to have it advance step-by-step at a pace most moves usually make. By this second expectation the move has gone as I figured it would. I didn't expect to find a place right away or even on the second try. I also expected more support or a different attitude from my parents. I guess, though, it's my fault I haven't been more articulate in the proceedings of this move. I just need to attach some steel to my spine, remember to be calm and collected and not let those who need to know what's what fluster me. I just wish I had a couple more in my corner when I do the tellin'. =os
We, Mom and I, met with the counselor at Voc Rehab today about starting the proceedings to find a job. It only focused on a job aspect for 10 minutes as other issues surfaced. Issues that I have, indeed, thought over and realize my case manager, Lloyd needs to guide me on. So, I know I'm not doing this as blindly as my parents might think. *sigh* Issues like where to work--obviously in the same city I live in, how a job will affect my social security and Medicaid and if it is worthwhile to have electrical work done on the van's ramp or if I should start looking for other ways of transportation.
It is agreed though that finding a place to live is first and foremost...which means I need to open my mouth and say, "Heather and I got the apartment!" Six simple words, but in the face of my parents' concern and disapproval, so hard to utter. But utterance they'll get; if I managed to tell Mom we were now looking at I.F. as a place to live I can manage this. I just need to think of how best to approach this and talk to Lloyd to better get the guidance I need. Tomorrow I will call him and start my ball rolling as far as a care provider and whatever else he needs to know.
On the walk home it felt nearly impossible to overcome. There's so much more to deal with when your disabled.
Is this move over yet? *sigh*
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