� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
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This week we're using "advice columns" as the inspiration for our topic. You will be "Dear Abby." Read the letter. Think about it and offer up your advice and/or opinions.
Dear Abby,
I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years now and we've lived together for 6. Even though recently he's finally, somewhat open to discussing marriage, he's yet to give me a straight reason as to why we aren't married yet or even engaged. I get a lot of "Be patient" and "We will when the time is right..."
I know that he's just as crazy about me as I am of him, but that's why I don't understand why he is so afraid of marriage. He knows I don't need, nor want a huge fancy wedding. Or a big expensive diamond. So money shouldn't be an issue. I'd be just as happy to go down to City Hall because to me it's the commitment that's important. It's what marriage represents that's important. And I think I've been patient long enough. I've thought of giving him an ultimatum, but wouldn't that be cruel? Or what if he chose to leave...? But, if I don't do something, what if I wait out all my life for a proposal and it never comes?
I've considered asking him, but in a conversation we had long ago, he had mentioned that he wouldn't feel right if he wasn't the one to propose. How do I get through this? I love this man desperately and want the security of marriage.
Please help,
Longing To Marry
Ahem, a very tricky situation and completely elusive of a solution to my tired brain right now. I know there's a solution, but danged if I can come up with a happy, yet mature and insightful answer. However, the reason I'm bringing this P-O-Y up is because I used to think of myself as the "Dear Abby" among my friends. They would share their problems and I'd listen then offer my advice or opinion or ask questions to further understand their dilemma before giving the advice or opinion.
For awhile there (when I was at Ricks--oh excuse me, it's BYU-Idaho now) I was really into the role. And I think I gave good advice or my opinion was respected, if not well-received. It was quite fun for that span of time I was "Dear Abby" and it gave me a feeling of self-importance.
But then I graduated and moved on to ISU, where I became sucked into my own lil world of drama and more growing pains than I encountered in high school. Oh, I still played "Dear Abby" now and then, but not to the degree I had at Ricks--I mean...BYU-I. Nobody really needed me in that role, or if they did they mostly needed or wanted a sounding board. So I was that more often than not.
Do I miss it? *thinks a minute* I miss the...self-importance I felt. I miss the good feeling I got when I knew I'd helped my friends. It's good to be needed; it's good to help, but no I don't miss it. I was getting to the point where I was getting too involved, too worried about them and not enough about moi. So it's good it tapered off. I needed to concentrate and work on me for awhile.
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