� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
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Then why am I in here? Well, I'm tryin' to find out if I have any plans on Saturday. Heather wanted to get together, but it looks like she's got a fam reunion on her papa's side so she might not make it. Aaannnddd...nope, she's not gonna make it. Her day is planned what with the reunion and a wedding/reception later in the day. Murphy's Law strikes the both of us again. So Mom and I might go see the Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl. I like Johnny Depp, and of course, it's gonna be interesting to see Orlando Bloom with dark hair and in another role besides Legolas.
Still speaking of Heather, she had an interesting conversation today with a guy she calls "Smili." Apparently they were discussing why she's "a dateless wonder." I wouldn't call her the "dateless wonder." Heck, she's hung out with Gazoo, a family friend and has made efforts and hung out with other guy friends or acquaintances. No, the dateless wonder is myself. And I've almost convinced myself I don't care and am fine with that state. I've even begun doubting I'll meet my other half in this life. My response? Who the flip cares anymore.
Anyway, getting back to their conversation, he told her (in giving pointers on how to get and keep a man) to dress more attractively and single (ie. flashy), to be more extrovert and get out more, making more of an effort to get out and meet new people.
"I'd like to bat him," I said. Translation: bat=bashing with a baseball bat. Whenever we get booted, either by the net or MSN, Heather and I say we'd like to take a bat to them to straighten them up. I know it sounds violent, but it's just how we take out our frustration...though we'd never actually committ thae act.
"Why?" she asked.
For suggesting flashy, I thought but said aloud, "You don't need to change. Sure nice clothes and knowledge of how to accentuate your better features help, but you don't need to be an extrovert."
I didn't add that if a guy couldn't or doesn't like you for who you are and you're a decent enough person, he's not worth it. I didn't need to; it went without saying. The flashy remark really got to me because it was a typical shallow, sexist remark that, to me, showed a typical shallow male mindset of how a female should look. It didn't say much about Smili in my opinion. Sorry Heather, but if that's how he thinks what will attract a man then...
Her brief retelling of the conversation reminded me of a comment Aubree made a day or so ago. I'd been trying to tell Mom about the situation between Heather and her friend *J*. I'm not going to get into that here, for that would just go off on another tangent. Anyways, the pertinent info is this: *J* has a boyfriend and expects to be engaged by December. Her life is more socially faster paced than Heather's or mine. And, typical of a girl with a boyfriend, *J's* attention is totally absorbed in him, which has played a part in distancing the two women.
As I said, Aubree heard me talking 'bout this and interjected, "Well Shi, now you and Heather need to get guys. You need to go on dates."
Um, ya right. I have yet to find a guy who is willing or even wants to look past the wheelchair to me and seriously wants to date me. They may like me as a person, but deep down they follow the typical mindset of the shallow remark Smili made.
Oh I know I have a special guy out there somewhere; he'll have to be special to see past the first glance of the package. But the question of "Where is he?" is slowly turning into "Will he have to be that special because what if we don't meet here?" If we meet in the next life his needing to look beyond my disability will be moot.
What's the point of all this? That I'm a dateless wonder and typically, a guy's mindset of what the female should look like to attract a man is shallow and sexist.
Yes, my mood is still aggressive.
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moon phase |
