I woulda had this all done but for my stupid, misbehaving mouse that's suddenly gotten a mind of its own and does whatever it wants contrary to my will. I had this all written and was filling out my option fields when, rotten luck, the cursor arrow froze. I had to hit reset!

**Warning: I'm in an irritable mood.**

**********
Dad brought home another cute email a friend and co-worker sent him. Supposedly a 17-year-old boy from Florida sent in a job application to Wal-Mart and was actually hired because he was so honest and funny... Just read and see what you think:

NAME: Greg Bulmar

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person (or one who'll cooperate).

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year, plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz-style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and POST-IT Notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?If I had one, wouldn't I be there?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS? Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR? I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION? I may already be a winner of the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE? On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS? Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy, dumb, sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETEE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE? Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

..:: Remembered�����E�����Occuring ::..

---

Recently Recorded...
06-17-2006 E Good Bye
06-07-2006 E A Real-Life American Princess
06-06-2006 E I Have VICTORY--With a Lil Help
06-03-2006 E The Ballot-Marking Device: Making History
06-01-2006 E Thursday Thirteen: 13 Things I Am Or Have Been Obsessed Or Fascinated With

moon phase