� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
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Not an easy question is it. At least it isn't for me. As a child I followed my parents' example that the church is true on blind faith. Oh, I believed it was true, but I didn't know it was true. It wasn't until I was in my late teens, early 20s that I gained my testimony. But...back to the question. *sits and thinks* I think she would be impressed that I made it to college, even happy that I've had one boyfriend at least and is considered a good writer. But spiritually I don't know. She'd wonder, I think, why or how I've done some of the things I have to feel like--actually, to know--I need spiritual help and growth. Now, if I were the person I was in '96 then yeah, she'd be proud. But now I think she'd be disappointed yet hopeful with my soul searching and beginning efforts at trying to regain spiritual ground.
Why am I babbling about this? I read another letter by Screwtape. He said something to Wormwood that really struck me. Men's spirituality comes in peaks and troughs or lows, and it is the troughs that the Father uses to bring us closer to Him, according to Screwtape. In explaining the Father's goal for us humans--that of being like Him yet distinct entities--he teaches his apprentice, Wormwood, His methods. I quote:
"He really does want to fill the universe with a lot of loathsome little replicas of Himself--creatures whose life, on its miniature scale, will be qualitatively like His own, not because He has absorbed them but because their wills freely conform to His. We want cattle who can finally become food; He wants servants who can finally become sons. We want to suck in, He wants to give out. We are empty and would be filled; He is full and flows over. Our war aim is a world in which Our Father Below has drawn all other beings into himself; the Enemy wants a world full of beings united to Him but still distinct."I love this because it is so true. His goal is to have His spirit children like unto Himself. And the way Screwtape describes His methods reminds me of a loving father who holds out his hands a few feet away from the child taking his/her first step when he/she is learning to walk. The Father is holding out His hands, encouraging us to take that initial step and then another. Kind of a roundabout circle I've led you in to get back to the question above, but it's helped me in taking another step closer, however small, to where I want to be. Adios for now.
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moon phase |
