� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
�
Pretty funny.
The schedule for Institute came today. They offer a limited selection of classes but that's ok. I'm sure they'll rotate or offer other classes the following term. As Monday's a holiday I'll register Tuesday, and Wednesday night I'll begin Church History and Thursday I might take Preparing for a Celestial Marriage. Who knows, that might help me understand why dating is so awkward for me. I haven't decided if I'll take that class or not. But it'll be exciting to be back in that warm, inviting atmosphere.
Later on this evening, I'm supposed to attend a reception for the sister of an old high school friend. Their family used to live across the street when we were growing up and we kids kinda all hung out from time to time. But then we graduated and they moved to a different part of town and contact just drifted... So tonight I'd like to go and just visit for awhile.
The mother, Lenora, called personally inviting us even before the annoucements came out several weeks ago. And I thought it would be good for my mother and me and perhaps Dad, to all go. After the phone call and over the subsequent days I stressed the point of wanting to go and how it would be nice to go. I guess I should have stressed the word we a bit more cause Mom has blown me off because she and Dad were invited a day or two ago to go out to dinner, go to a seperate reception then play cards with their good buddies down the stupid street. She [Mom] told Jon just to drop me off at Jennifer's reception.
I don't mind goin' by myself. What I do mind and what ticks me off royally is being fobbed off or "being put on the back burner." They tell me I need to get out, that I spend too much time in my room, that I should socialize. And when I do, they make other plans! They want a family moment, fine, I'm ready to participate. But oh wait nevermind. Kami's invited to that and Bonnie and Bruce have invited the 'rents to this. So who's stuck at home anyway? Me. And they wonder why I come in my room and stay to myself.
They want me out. Mom had to pick Kami up in Poky yesterday. It's a good thang I didn't go with her--the driver's truck Kami hitched a ride in broke down in Malad and they were two hours late in gettin' to Poky--but at the time I asked if I could go I didn't know. The answer to my question was no, Mother didn't want to take me. They want me out, but when I ask, just to give them company or to get fresh air they don't want me.
So, I'm not gonna ask. I'm not gonna suggest, I'll just go about my affairs, sad as they are at the moment and make other plans. I'll have Institute and hopefully I'll make new friends and will be able to create a social circle with them as well as have myself for company. And if they ever wonder why I don't spend "family time" anymore, they'll just have to wonder or figure it for themselves. I'm tired of being on the back burner.
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I am the master of my fate; the captain of my soul.
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moon phase |
