Second entry of the day...

I envy those who have "special spots" to go to. When the going gets tough at home, like it was early this afternoon, they can get away to their own special place. When they need a place to think and puzzle out a problem or situation, their spot affords them the opportunity without the distractions of other people and the hubbub of city life. When they need solitude and time alone, their place welcomes them and offers quiet comfort.

Being in a wheelchair, living in the city and being unable to drive myself, makes it nigh onto impossible to find or even have a quiet spot of my own, where I can just...be. Be by myself. Be away from noise and distractions. Be away from dramas of the day or week. And be away from contention in the home. *sigh*

How I would love to have a place of my own. Or, I should say, a "special spot" of my own where I could escape to whenever I need alone time. It would do a lot to restore flagging spirits, to restore my sanity and make hard things more bearable.

If I had my own "special spot" I would listen and watch Nature and see what she has to teach me; I would see what part of her seeps into my writing and lives on.

If I had my own "special spot" I would talk to God, Grannie and Grandpa H. without fear of someone walking nearby and discovering me.

If I had my own "special spot" I would let loose a primal yell of rage or fear or sorrow when these emotions overwhelm me.

If I had my own "special spot" [and if it had a creek or slow moving river, which I often imagine it to have] I would "walk" along its banks with a bag of bread for the ducks and birds.

If I had my own "special spot" I would "dance" and sing along to the songs on whatever CDs on the player I happened to bring.

If I had my own "special spot" I would let its calming atmosphere seep into the very marrow of my bones, releasing the tension holding me captive.

If I had my own "special spot" I would let the tears flow unchecked, without fear of discovery. I wouldn't care how red or puffy my eyes and face would get, I'd have a box of tissues.

If I had my own "special spot" I would ignore my worries and woes for a bit, letting its solace renew my spirit.

If I had my own "special spot" I would offer up prayers of thanksgiving to my God and pray asking for help or for this or that without fear of disturbance.

If I had my own "special spot" I would let the quiet of Nature surrounding me subdue the busy workings of my mind so I could maybe work out a solution to the current dilemma in my life.

If I had my own "special spot" I would go to just...be. I would drop all facades and pretenses and just be myself.

moon phase