� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
�
When a new online friend shared this belief a couple nights ago in a conversation, I was a bit shocked as you can imagine. First of all, y'all know I am a dreamer and a hopeful romantic at that, a trait often associated with the "occupation" of dreamer. Second, though I am such, the last thing on my mind is to enslave anybody to anything! *soft laugh*
Third, for me, love isn't impossible but very real. Yet I have to admit it is also an ideal. I've seen what some might call "true love" among my friends and certain members of my family. It is indeed a wonderful thing, exciting and scary at the same time; a lifelong and even eternal adventure. It's energized them, made them happier than they ever thought they could be and made them strive to be better people for themselves and for the ones they love. Yet, it's not been all roses for them. They've worked hard and constantly to have the lasting relationships they do.
We all want love, every last one of us. Some find it more easily and quickly than others. Others become desperate when it eludes them and they exhaust and worry themselves searching for it, usually in the wrong places. Trouble is, some of these people are only chasing the ideal--the glorious, wonderful side seen through rose-tinted glasses thanks to movies and love songs, not the real McCoy.
And when people are desperate, they can mistake the first thing that comes along for love. As Gwen also said, "The love we see in poetry (most) is unattainable to most people because what they call love is lust in nice clothes." LOL. How true!
Romance is still alive and well, but today's generation in my opinion is too focused on the outward appearance and too concerned with what is "sexy." If one isn't immediately attracted to someone in the first five minutes after meeting them then forget about getting to know that person better. It's move on to better, greener or sexier pastures.
This generation also expects instant gratification. They want what they want--and they want it NOW. Many couples do not wait for marriage before sharing that ultimate emotional bond that uniting their bodies together brings. They're also moving in together, thinking to "test the waters" before taking the ultimate plunge. But why get married when you have all the benefits of a marriage without all the legal entanglements? What's so important about a flimsy little piece of paper, hmmm?
I'll tell you. The instant gratification and living together without the sanction of holy matrimony is pure selfishness and laziness. On the parts of both parties. They want the fun for as long as it's great, but if the going gets a bit rough, the tough want complete freedom to quit and walk away. This isn't real love, but lust in nice clothes. And that flimsy little piece of paper? It's tangible proof (for many) that a couple understands what it takes to be in a serious lifelong and even eternal relationship. It's a physical proclamation of the promises they made with all their hearts and souls to each other. And it's a testament to their willingness to put each other before themselves.
To quote Gwen again, "'Real' love, like we read of in sonnets and such, is only attainable through hard work and some knowledge."
Again, how true. Everything worth having in life comes from hard work, common sense and sacrifice, mostly. Love is no exception. When searching for it we need to remember not to fall into the trap of the ideal, expecting it to be all roses and candy, moonlit kisses and happily ever afters without even trying.
Love poems and songs can easily lull us for a time into believing that's all there is to the real thing. Not so, as I've explained, and as many already know, there's so much more to love. Both may feel the same, but one is an illusion and never lasts. The other is all-encompassing. It includes thoughts, actions as well as the soul. It accepts us as we are. Our flaws are known, yet we are loved with them firmly in mind and heart. And it is eternal. How great is that? You can't beat that!
While there are many songs and poems perpetuating the ideal, there are others showing real love. It is these, and letters if I can find them, I want to explore more and share. Shakespeare's Sonnet 130 is one. In fact, that's why it's my favorite sonnet. He doesn't pretend his mistress is a goddess set upon a pedastal, but thinks his love as rare,/As any she belied with false compare.
My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;In looking up the few poems I've posted over time I've come to notice that though each generation becomes more progressive, love itself remains unchanged no matter the era or location. It can be a wonderful thing, and those wise enough to cultivate the real thing are lucky indeed.
Coral is far more red, than her lips red:
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damasked, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound:
I grant I never saw a goddess go,
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
And yet by heaven, I think my love as rare,
As any she belied with false compare.
|
moon phase |
