� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
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Ponderment 1: *J*, Heather's friend, has realized her friendship with my bud is in jeapordy(sp?), but is at a loss as to how to bridge the gap between them. The problem as I've observed it is *J's* life is going east and Heather's is going north. Meaning that right now their lives are going in different directions and, I think, at different speeds. *J* realizes the summer's ending and that she's hardly spent the time she's wanted with Heather. But she doesn't know how to bridge the gap and get past Heather's cryptic replies. And Heather, if I may be permitted to say so, has tried subtly then with broad hints to tell *J* what was (or is) wrong. But at the time it seemed *J* just couldn't get it because her head was filled with thoughts of her significant other and what's been going on in her life.
She would tell Heather the comings and goings in her life and would be so caught up in her world that by the time she got around to asking about Heather, *J* had to go. Heather's gotten tired of playing second fiddle to *J's* life and has, I think, begun to feel that maybe it's best to let the friendship die.
Which I would hate to see. They've been friends since the eighth grade, and *J's* admitted to me she doesn't want to lose this friendship. Her boyfriend, *E* is coming up this week from Utah and she remembered Heather wanted to meet him. But he may be bringing some pals with him, so she suggested they meet at my house for pizza and a movie. Apparently I'm included in this get-together as well...
Here's where the pondering comes in: Heather told me today she thinks this is a dirty trick on *J's* part, explaining when I gave her a "??" that she figures *J* is using me in part to spend time with Heather. Heather's reasoning is that *J* knows she (Heather) wants to spend time with me and that she might join in the group if I'm a part.
"Not that she doesn't like you, for I'm sure she does..." Heather added.
Oh, I think *J* likes me well enough and would like to hang with me outside of church at least once before she heads back to school. But while I don't consider it a dirty trick on *J's* part in being included, I think I was invited in the hopes I'd be a mediator or a way to kill two birds with stone, so to speak. 1) She'd see both Heather and *E* at once and 2) Heather would finally meet *E* "an important man" in *J's life.
My best bet would be to stay out of it completely, but...Heather's a best bud. And *J's* trying to understand Heather's remote attitude. And because I'm on the outside looking in I can see the situation as a whole, but trying to explain what I see to both of them in easy terms to help them bridge the gap has proven harder than I hoped. Each one is standing on one side of the gap, unable to bridge it because they're stuck in their mode of thinking. *J* sees her life as active socially and in other areas, while Heather's is socially stagnant (meaning I'm her social life when it comes to friends) and is on the defensive. (**My words Heather, not *J's*; I'm just paraphrasing.**) Heather sees *J* as being so caught up in her own life and in *E* that making time for my friend has become less of a priority. It has naturally hurt Heather to be placed on a back burner continuously that it's to a point where she's becoming apathetic about this gap. Neither one seems to be able to get past this mode of thinking to find a way to rebuild the friendship. They're at an impasse.
Ponderment 2: Yesterday I was surprised by two things. Remember Scrollies.org, the community site for allumni of the Ricks College Scroll? One of the girls I worked with emailed me! Holy cow. She was nice and fun I remember, but we never paled around like some of the others and I did. Anyway, she said hi and just wondered what I was doing nowadays journalism-wise and sent a picture of her and her family. *smiles* Somebody at that site actually thought of me!
And then, today, I received another surprise email from a second Scrollie, Dave T. Let's just say he looks like a blond Adonis. Too bad he's married already. LOL. I was surprised by his casual hello because at the first Scrollie reunion we had he couldn't remember who I was! So double wow.
Ponderment 3: My long, lost ISU friend, *Kelsy, has "refound" me through MSN. She has been going through a lot in the past four or five years, a lot that I would've cratered under. But not her. I admire her for how strong she is. Since Graduation Day, she has been battling breast cancer, and until recently--well she still might--was told she might have to have a mastectomy(sp?). This is a girl younger than moi! And you know how I get when a friend is hurt, in danger or gravely ill. I worry, more than I usually do!!
Anyway she wanted me ta call her last night, so I did. I hadn't seen her online before her upcoming appt. with her surgeon. I wanted to see what he had to say. Or hear. They are cautiously optimistic and hopeful that she's gone into remission. Her tumor's gone down 50%, taking her from a Stage 3 to a Stage 1. Exciting, that. I'm just hoping and praying it doesn't flare up and continues to shrink.
My grandparents are coming tomorrow. So I might not update. But if I get a chance, it might be a quick one.
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Wherever you are, it is your friends who make your world.
~William James~
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