� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
�
ehThis is probably going to be a short entry, because I don't know how many ways one can say "I am very lucky" without becoming too repetitious.
I am lucky. After talking to Emma and another disabled friend several days ago and from filling out the application for a spot on the state's Council On Developmental Disabilities (the DD Council), this hit home for me, once again. I've known for a long time, probably since college, that for someone who's grown up with a physical disability--or "developmental disability," at least, that's the politically correct term nowadays--like I have, I've had it easy compared to a lot of my peers with disabilities.
I briefly mentioned, I think, that May 1st was the first "Blogging Against Disablism Day" (BADD). *pauses to think* Maybe I just mentioned it to a couple of friends... At any rate, Emma wanted to know back then if I was going to participate. At that time, however, I just wasn't feeling angsty enough, nor could I remember (in recent history) a time when I suffered from someone's fear or prejudice of "disablism." Sure, I could have dredged up an instance or three from the past, but, the ones that came to mind were at least year old, or from high school. I just felt like they were too old to be all "get up" about them--if you know what I mean. So I really didn't participate in BADD.
Sure, I have my moments, as does anyone with a disability, but as I was reminded the other day, I've had far fewer than any other I know of right away. Growing up I had a small group of friends who never cared that I was in a wheelchair. Yes, there were the times when I've been stared at, laughed at and been made fun of--thankfully, I probably do not know the full amount of times these things happened. And there have been the usual questions and comments:
"Why are you in that chair?"
"What happened to you?"
"Why can't you walk?"
"Why do you talk funny?"
"Will you alway be that way?"
"I'm sorry you're in a wheelchair."
"I couldn't handle this; you're a brave girl. So smiley and happy."
"You're an inspiration to those of us who think our problems are too much."
Or variations of those. The important thing is I've had more people look at me, the person I am, rather than just seeing the outward appearance. *in an aside* Now, if only guys (in general) would be able to see past my chair and disability and not care about "sexiness"...but that may be asking too much of the majority of the male gender. Ah well...
This is why I'm lucky; I haven't had to deal with as much "disablism" as others. In fact, "disablism" is a new term for me. Growing up I never felt discriminated against, or was made to feel inferior to those who could and can walk. I was/am just...different from others, only in that I had/have to use a wheelchair to get around and couldn't/can't do some things for myself. That's all. I have a mind that's as good as or better than some people's. I have two college degrees in journalism and a part-time job teaching voters education to the disabled and to the elderly. As a kid, teachers expected me--as did my parents--to get my homework done and to take the same tests as my able-bodied peers. Aaannd I was expected to do the very best. Only As and high Bs were acceptable and the occasional C, but that was only after I'd studied my butt off and done the very best I could on my homework. And trust me, there were a fews Cs in my time that were hard-earned.
Yes, I'm very lucky. I don't know how it really was for Emma during her growing up years, or for my other friend, for that matter. But from the little he told me, he had it rough. He didn't go to his own graduation from high school, he said, because he'd had garbage thrown at him. I could not imagine that, or how I'd handle that if it had happened to me. I'd probably have burst into tears and want to go home, never to return. As he told me of that horrible experience and of missing his own graduation, I couldn't help but call up mine. I was expected--again by everybody--to attend and to be there to receive my diploma cover (we had to go back to school the next day to pick our actual diplomas up). And really, I didn't think about it. The rest of my class...well, except for a few them who, for whatever reason, couldn't graduate...was taking the natural next step. So, since I'd completed my secondary education too--with them--why shouldn't I take that next step as well and, even though I wasn't sure I wanted to, go to college?
I even got a standing ovation.
See? I am very, very lucky. I only hope I continue to be this lucky.
In looking up the DD Council's website and its goals (for when I was filling out the application), I was shocked to see that one of its goals or endeavors included the ceasation of the involuntary sterilization of those with developmental disabilities. I was incensed! How dare anyone make such a decision for or take away the right to have a family from someone who's disabled!? I didn't even know such a practice was...in practice until I found the Council is trying to put an end to it. Thank heavens. That's just barbaric to me. True, I can see the reasoning for it with those who have mental disabilities, but still it seems barbaric to me.
Only once has a doctor told me I probably couldn't have kids because I'm in a wheelchair. Sandy, my care provider at the time, did not waste a moment in refuting him! LOL. Just because we're in wheelchairs does not mean we can't have children, people. There have been any number of women in wheelchairs who have done so.
Yes, it's lucky I was only told that once, or the next doctor who was stupid enough to tell me again...after the nth time...wouldn't be so lucky.
Indeed, I am one lucky woman.
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