I'm feeling the pinch of due dates and I really should have had two papers done. But I don't feel too badly cause another classmate hasn't even started. And the due date is two weeks off yet. So I'm not in panic mode. However, I would have had those two said papers done already had not things been thrown in my path. (A weak excuse, but still viable.)

Anyway, as nothing has happened of import today, here's a lil something to put a stitch in your side... An email copied for us in Writing by our professor. We were talking about instruction manuals and how you must be very careful on what you print as instruction. His comments are in parentheses.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
-- On a Sear's hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." (damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
-- On a bag of Frito's: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (the shoplifter special?)
-- On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???)
-- On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's just a suggestion.)
-- On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well duh, a bit late, huh!)
-- On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (and you thought????)
-- On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't save me more time?)
-- On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (we could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
-- On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." and I'm taking this because???)
-- On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to what?)
-- On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
-- On Salisbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
-- On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh, fly Delta?)
-- On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
-- On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (omg, was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle). In other words send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in awhile.

..:: Remembered�����E�����Occuring ::..

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