(started on 01-04-2004 at 11:28 p.m.)
Whelp, step one of building my design site is almost completed. I just have to transfer the code to the page's editor. It's a one-two process. (I have chosen to have an entrance page before the main one with all the particulars.) Step two, of course, is the designing of the main site itself. I have an image I'd like to use from Getty Images, and I'd like to use the lake effect on it somehow, but so far no layout style has hit my fancy. Which doesn't really bother me yet, and yet is the key word here as I like to do things in an orderly fashion. And that quirk is really laughable because if you could see my room, it is anything but orderly and neat. You could say it's cluttered and lived-in because that's what it is. I have knicknacks and stuffed animals all around. My desk is covered; there is barely aaannnyy visible space around my keyboard. So yeah, my penchant for doing things in an orderly fashion is highly at odds with the way I live. Sure, I like things neat and tidy, but I also like things to be at hand where I can reach them. And when you're in a wheelchair, that pretty close by, and when you have as much stuff as I do collected in a small room, it naturally gets cluttered.

Ok, now that I've babbled enough for the night, I'll get to the heart of this entry: last night's dream. You may find it and my latest layout here. As I said there, FreakyDreams, for once, came through with helping me to see a possible, viable interpretation. I went through it all there, so I won't bother with all the particulars, but I do want to talk about it in part. Right now it's the biggest thang weighing on my mind.

(continued today at the specified time above)
I don't know if it's all Heather's talk and predictions of big changes to come that colored that dream and is making me think changes are coming in my own life, or if that dream really is its own portent. It wouldn't be the first time. A couple dreams in the past have come true in one form or another. Usually in regards to failing a quiz or test. =os I hope that's not indicative of the future--me failing at something. (I'm already scared the design site and my novel will flop as it is.)

I can sense changes in myself, subtle as they are nevertheless, and my old self trying to hold on in ways. And I know (without a dream to tell me) that changes will inevitably come. That is the way of life. Changes are the only constant. That and the fact that our spirits are eternal.

Heather made the startling comment yesterday that, "Someday we'll have a similar convo [to that of one she feels she needs to have with Nobody about certain issues she has with herself] and I suspect it will cause major damage to our friendship."

Alarmed, I asked her if I was doing anything wrong to tell me now so I can rectify the problem.

"It's not you," she assured. "Tis me. I'm just being me." And she went on to explain that big changes are coming for her, and that being the case, everything and everyone around her will be affected as well.

And the more I thought on this, the more I saw it was true. But I hope she is right in thinking that that convo will only enhance our friendship and not tear it asunder. As I told her last night, I don't think I could easily bear the loss of that friendship.

Basically, according to the dream analysis I'm comfortable with myself enough now that I'm looking for something deeper. So perhaps something will come my way.

..:: Remembered�����E�����Occuring ::..

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