� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
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Um....today. More nothing on homework. Too many distractions. But I finally talked with both Grey and Heather. Well, Grey was last night. But I got an update from Heather. Last night, I needed a kind ear and I'd hoped Grey was in a better mood than last time. He seemed more composed, but still mercurial. In an effort to push my bad day aside I thought maybe if I tried smoothing things between those two, I might feel better. He was unemotional about the situation. Yet I bumbled and tried; he thought it was stupid that I was trying to make thangs right. They talked a bit today, but it's far from being patched up. He wasn't very warm toward her. In fact, right now he's just...this mass of cold anger, and as Heather says, he's lashing out at whoever just because he's mad.
Grey is reminding me of several other "gentlemen" I've crossed paths with who are very angry people, who bottle up their emotions until they explode. Two were/are from India and Abe is the third. I no longer talk to one Indian or Abe (well I do to Abe only once in a long while). The other is a pen pal I've had for several years; the older he gets, the moodier he becomes.
But I've decided today after hearing Grey's reactions/attitude that if I attract another angry guy like some perverse magnet, I'm just gonna walk away. I've been cinged a bit by Abe and the one Indian enough to never want to be in that type of situation again. It sucks. And it's stupid.
I'm not sure what will happen between them. However, with Grey's attitude about online friends they'll never be more than acquaintances. He doesn't believe online bonds can be strong or genuine. Sad, but his loss. When I first started talking to him he seemed the type I could be friends with, but it's hard to be friends when somebody has a wall erected. You may think you're safe from bigger hurt that way Grey or that true friends aren't found on the net, and you may be partly right. But it's also vvveerry lonely. And you could be missing good opportunities.
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moon phase |
