� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
�
Several people have said this and it used to really annoy me. I guess this is where I still have some naivet�. I have never, except for once or twice when trying to see if Stephen was being faithful after that one time cheating on me with his ex-girlfriend, pretended to be anyone other than who I am. Me. Shiloh. A bright, sensitive and passionate, usually upbeat woman who's a bit jaded when it comes to guys. And I forget that the person on the other computer, if they've never met me in person before, can't know that for certain. For all they know I could be a 42-year-old white man from some town in New Jersey. But I'm not. Yet how could they know for sure?
I don't know what's made it finally sink in, but now I can't justifiably get irked because some guy says it. Maybe it's because I've heard it so many flipping times. At the same time, how do I know they are who they say they are? I donno. I've just kinda followed my intuition. And you know what? If I'd have listened to it totally, the guys with whom I've had the most hurt with woulda had a very short appearance in my life, with the exception of Evan. I think that would have played out the same way again because he was the closest I've come yet with whom there was magic on all levels. Had I been more jaded and less trusting, he too would've had a short crossing of my path.
The one guy I can definitely count on to be here (in person) in my life right now isn't a human at all. He's my baby, my cat, Egypt. He's a miracle actually, come to think of it. In August he went exploring one day when he and Stockings were let out and didn't come home. I was sure he was gone for good when he didn't come back by midnight. But, two days later one of the twins living down the street knocked on my door and told me the crossing guard had found a kitty that looked like my Egypt. I was home alone with Grandma so I was torn. I was afraid she might wander, but I so wanted to see if this cat was mine.
My desire to get Egypt back won. I prayed Grandma wouldn't leave. And sure enough it was. But he had a broken leg--a spiral fracture. The vet said he'd either been run over or stepped on. After three and a half weeks he decided he'd had enough of the cast and he bit through the gauze or tape holding it on and flicked it off. Back to the vet he went, who checked it and said it had healed just fine and Egypt should be ok without it. He walks as if he never broke his leg.
When I was sick last semester he curled up in my lap and licked my check as if to say, "It's ok." Then there was when he ran off exploring again. We got him back two or three days later when he was following some people around and they were asking who's cat it was.
Then there was last week. He got in the dryer and was..."fluffed." Mom heard this clunk ka clnk and thought Kami's ankle braces shouldn't be that heavy. She hurriedly opened it and about had a heart attack. Egypt was peering dizzily up at her. It scared her *tries not to cry at the memory of Stockings*, bringing back a deja v� of Stockings death. Egypt was lucky. The dryer was still stone cold. He still lives, to me he's a miracle kitty.
Another miracle is that I'm even online tonight. As I got on the puter it went crazy. I tried restarting it and it said it hadn't been shut down properly. So it started running ScanDisk. At 99% it stopped and posted a sign saying out of memory. I clicked ok. Over and over again went through this stupid cycle. It told me I should run Windows ScanDisk, but it wouldn't boot up so I could.
Great, I thought. It'll have to be taken into the shop. Like I need that now. Not with so many papers to write. But, then I began to think. It's really amazing what your brain'll come up with when you have a problem you need to solve. The men have to get to the main screen in order to fix the problem, I thought. So that means they have to have a...boot up disk.
I scrambled through the mess on my desk to see if I could find mine. All I managed was to rearrange the mess on my desk. *shrugs*
"Hey Jon, do you have a boot up disk?" I asked on one final hope.
He sifted through disks in their container. "What're you working with? Windows 95?"
"Yes."
He tossed it to me. And hoping against hope I inserted the disk in while ScanDisk was running for the upteenth time and pressed exit. Amazingly my computer booted it up. I then ran Windows ScanDisk three times to see if I could continue getting it to work ok. I'm hoping it'll be fine, but I'm keeping the disk handy and running Windows ScanDisk everyday. Heather was on and I finally remembered to ask her what to do about bad bytes. There are two costly suggestions: get a new hard drive or a new computer. Yikes! I'm not made of money! But as a writer I will have no choice.
I committed a big uh oh today. We had our first in-class assignment in Prof. Writing. It was a cover letter. We were to write to this guy at Ford about the job advertised. I completely screwed it up. I wrote to the editor of a newspaper. I was rattled because of the time limit. Only me. But I talked with zee professor, and he is sssoo COOL! He's allowing me to redo the assignment and hand it in Wednesday. Without penalty! How awesome is that? 
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moon phase |
