� 2001-2006 by Shiloh
�
almost no energyThis is going to be a quick entry, as I really don't have zee energy for a long, thought out one. This latest crud still has me pretty wiped. I think I'm ok and start about my day, planning on getting things in my writing accomplished...and then bam! Around three o'clock I'm ready for a snooze. I feel like it should be nine o' clock, but of course, it's not.
This entry is (and the next may be) disability-related. I've had some thoughts playing about my head, and I've felt like I needed to add another such entry here...but until Emma gave voice to a good topic, I really didn't know what to say. So, thank you, Em, for once again giving my nebulous thoughts or desire for a voice a firm direction.
She asked two simple questions of those of us in the Live C.P. group:
For some reason, as I told Emma the other day, unless it happens to be a lil kid that asks me this question, I become annoyed with, defensive of or bothered by the inquirer. I know they're naturally curious, otherwise they wouldn't have asked. But I guess I see it as something that's pretty obvious. I--can't--walk. 'Course that's not what they're really asking; they're asking what I have that makes me unable to walk, that has put me in this chair. I know I really shouldn't be annoyed or defensive when adults ask me this question, but...I am sometimes. I guess it's the vibes I get off some of the inquirers, or my current mood, or negative expectations from past experiences with other people. I know I need to get over it. I mostly just say--if it's an adult asking--"I have Cerebral Palsy..."
I had to think about my answer to Emma's second question for a couple of days. I honestly had no idea of what I wished people would ask me instead. I'd never thought about it before. All I ever wanted--and still do, for that matter--is for people to see me as normal and treat me as they would anybody else whom they've recently met. So I started thinking of the other questions I've been asked that I've not minded like I do with the aforementioned one.
"How fast does that thing/can you go?"
"About eight miles per hour." This was with my older, former wheelchair. I'm not exactly sure how fast the Rainbow Serpent can go, exactly, but it's a bit faster than eight miles, I know.
I don't mind this question at all. It's not about me or my disability. I guess I'm more comfortable with this question, because to me, it shows me the person isn't put off by the chair or by me. They're curious or fascinated by the chair. And they assume or deduce I'm reasonably intelligent enough to respond intelligibly because they asked me.
I realize, in typing that last statement, my logic or attitude regarding the first question is skewed, because I'm the one being asked the questions. Not anybody else around me. But like I said above: I guess it's the vibes I get off some of the inquirers, or my current mood, or negative expectations from past experiences with other people that have colored my attitude regarding the most asked question I'm asked.
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moon phase |
