Second entry of the day.

Ok...either I or the world needs to understand and accept something, and since most everyone I know and talk to responds the same way to the same thing...it's most likely me who needs to do the understanding and accepting. And change the related habit accordingly.

You see, when I commiserate with someone, I say: "I'm sorry." It doesn't mean I'm taking the blame for something I had no part of, or am accepting the blame by proxy. It just means I'm truly sorry for whatever bad luck or misfortune has fallen on a family member or friend. I sympathize. Or empathize, if I've had a similar experience. I'm not apologizing for myself; I've no reason to.

Yet people's reaction to my way of commiserating is almost always the same, "It's not your fault." Or they say, "Don't be sorry."

I'm not sorry. I'm commiserating. And I know it's not my fault. It's my way of simply saying or showing I care and am sympathizing or empathizing, as the case may be. Yet people invariably seem to think I'm sorry in the other sense.

Since they always react in this manner to my commiserating, and it's more than five people who respond this way, it's become irritatingly obvious who's going to be the one to change her response. Me.

*sigh* I have to begin training myself to say either "I sympathize" or "I feel for you" or "I empathize" because sure as the sky is mostly blue, the others in my life aren't going to change their responses. It's up to me, since I'm the only one who seems to know what I mean when I say, "I'm sorry."

Yes, I know saying "I'm sorry" is the usual standard, accepted way of apologizing. But I've also grown up with saying "I'm sorry" as a way of commiserating. It's a long-developed habit of mine that I naturally act on when the situation calls for commiseration. *shrugs* But I've gotten mightly tired recently of getting the same responses from everybody when I say, "I'm sorry." So obviously, even though I'm not apologizing, I've got to make myself clear beyond a shadow of a doubt as to my actual meaning. I'm the one who has to understand and accept and change her habit of commiseration.

moon phase