A Dreamer Tells... v.19

I've decided to abandon the dream journal I had here. For one, I just don't remember the dreams I have like I used to. I used to remember every single one to its minutest detail, but now...I can't. It's (my ability to remember them) been slowly declining in the years since I first started taking my seizure medication. I've also noticed my overall memory isn't as good as it was pre-seizures. It's the medication, I know. Therefore, I don't update often enough to keep it active online. Why post a dream you can barely remember?

And for another, I thought the switching back and forth between journals was annoying. And the double updates--when there was a dream to post--ate into my days. (I'm a slow typer.) I wanted to do more than spend my hours updating first one journal, then another, ya know? Plus, the archives were eratic in their dating because they were so, so spaced out. It made it hard to group them in as orderly a fashion as the archives are for this site here. Looking at my room right now you'd not be able to tell it, but, I do like some order about me.

This morning, I'm guessing, I had an interesting dream. It probably would have gone on a lil bit longer had I not been interrupted by Dad coming and going from my room, wanting to see if I was conscious and was going to ask for help in getting up. The dream finally terminated itself when it became apparent I was surfacing into full consciousness. You could say that was disappointing, because I really wanted to see where or how the dream would naturally end.

I can't remember much of the dream anymore as I was unable to record it right away, for we had to get to church. But I remember a few elements that have pulled at me strangely throughout the day. I'll record them anyway, because I just don't want to forget the dream entirely.

There were three main people in the dream, though there were others about. The supporting cast, I guess you could call them. The main ones were two guys, and myself, of course. One was Caucasian, White Wind; the other, a Native American, Black Hawk.

Unfortunately I don't remember how the dream started or the exact nature of the bond between the three of us. All I truly remember now is being on a passenger ship like the QE 2 which started sinking sometime in the dream during a meeting White Wind and I were holding in a conference room with the captain and some of his crew. Someone--it later turned out to be the devious Black Hawk--was trying to harm me seriously, perhaps even kill me, and we were all gathered there in the Conference Room discussing what could be done to protect me. I don't know who or how the man got into the room without those in it doing anything to stop him. They did nothing! Carrying a spear, he moved slowly towards me as if he were invisible, sliding the spear's head towards my foot. Thing is, he was visible! And they knew he was there! He slid the spear silently closer and I knew he wanted to pierce through my shoe to stab my foot. That would not necessarily kill me, but the poison I'm thinking was on the spearhead would definitely do the trick. And I dunno why I thought it would work, but to trick the guy in hopes of stopping him from stabbing me, I just let my upper body fall to the table, my arms spread out and rested my check on the table. It worked. That's when the room tilted and began filling quite rapidly with water.

I dunno how we got there, but the three of us were on this tropical island in the end, and the dream seemed to be explaining the complicated bond between the three of us. White Wind, Black Hawk and I once were friends it seems like. The telling of it was almost like a legend. Seems like it went through our youth only in my mind while it only backed up to events from our early adult years. Seems like this island was our home growing up too and now we'd returned to it. It was trying to explain why White Wind was the protagonist and why Black Hawk became the antagonist.

The last thing I remember before being pulled into consciousness was we ended in some sort of tragedy. Our bond was so fierce it became self-destructive in the end. I remember ending up in the mouth of a very unusual volcano looking up out of its caldera(?). Above me several feet higher were the guys: White Wind encased fully in ice in the volcano's wall; and Black Hawk hung at his waist from a horizontal stalagmite, reddened and a bit weathered looking (emanciated too) from the heat and steam of the volcano. As I said, the volcano was very unusual. One side seemed to be ice cold, the other, steaming hot. Polar opposites like the guys.

I'm not very good at interpreting dreams, but thinking about past experiences in recent months and clearly seeing some understandable symbolism here, I can make an educated guess--at least on the symbolism. Black and white = evil versus good. Like in the movie, Much Ado About Nothing, the bad guys all wore black or other dark colors. The good guys always wore white or light colors. Of course, there is also the complex bond between the men and myself. What I failed to explain before is its core was the underlying crux of the dream throughout its entirety. For some reason Black Hawk wanted to harm me, and the answer why lay in the intricately woven threads of our bond. I know, had I been left in peace, I would have found out the answer why.

Gwen took it a lil deeper than I would have expected her to, but then, knowing her and the knowledge she has I'm not too surprised in the end. She said it's the yin yang, negative and positive in all of us. My mind was showing me the dichotomy of our nature as human beings. The person who is innately gentle yet highly passionate.

"Even the names and races of the pro and antagonists reflect the dichotomy in search of balance," she added. "White vs. Native American. White Wind vs. Black Hawk. That pairing is the most telling, between the opposite colors and the symbiosis of hawk and wind."

"Civilized vs. uncivilized," Gwen continued. "And while it may seem a great tragedy (the volcano looming), beyond that is when synthesis of self begins. Going through the volcano symbolizes purification."

She concluded: "It sounds like your subconcious mind is saying that you are on the brink of the total changing of your life."

*pauses for thought* One thing is for sure, in a way we are both saying the same thing--to a degree. There is darkness and light in all of us, two sides to the same coin. A bond that is intrinsically tied and interwoven to form an eternal knot that can never be undone.

Whether or not my life is on the verge of changing totally remains to be seen. Although, it needs some changing, I'll grant you that. While I have begun to actively pursue writing, and it has been good for me, something more needs to happen than me sitting here before the computer at home day after day. So...who knows? Could black and white truly mean I'm on the verge of big change...and will it be tragedy or good?

..:: Remembered��E��Occuring ::..

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